Shopping is something of a divisive subject. Lots of people can't stand it, and want it over and done with as quickly as possible. Other people are so against the idea of shopping that they'll order everything online to avoid the misery that comes with searching the aisles for bargains.
There are quite a lot of people who love heading out to Walmart and staying there for hours, though. They enjoy nothing better than roaming around the store, comparing prices and deal hunting. You get the impression that for a few of them, it's the highlight of their whole week.
For those people, nothing will get in the way of their weekly shop. It doesn't matter if there are obstacles in the way, or they have no clothes suitable for leaving the house in - they're going to be there, and they're going to be seriously extra while they're doing it!
We've never understood why some people feel the need to treat a Walmart like it's a catwalk in Milan or Paris, but we've all seen it happen. Perhaps because some shoppers head down to the store dressed like they're about to attend an exclusive opera event, it puts pressure on other shoppers to up their game when it comes to their appearance - even if they don't have the right gear to do it with.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with this woman's boots. They look like perfectly solid, dependable footwear to us. We would have looked at them twice if she hadn't, for reasons best known to herself, got out a sticker and a Sharpie and written 'Uggs' on them. They're very clearly not Ugg boots, and she's feeling nobody with her cheap accessorizing. Now the boots just look absurd, and so does she!
We would never laugh at anybody who has a legitimate need to use a motorized cart. They're a great way of helping people with health conditions maintain their independence, and it's a good thing that some Walmart stores make carts available for shoppers to drive around in if they need to. Unfortunately, some people just take liberties with them. This woman hasn't just taken a liberty; she's run a thousand miles with it.
We really hope there's nobody stuck at the door of this Walmart waiting for a cart to become free, because she obviously doesn't need it. If you're capable of getting out of your cart and standing on it in order to reach the highest shelf, you obviously don't have any problems with your legs. This is a combination of laziness, selfishness, and blatant disregard for other people. Not only that, she could easily fall off and injure herself or someone else. Just as a thought, though, this Walmart might want to think about the height of its shelves. There are NBA players who couldn't reach up that high without assistance.
We understand how this could be construed as funny for five minutes. Whoever's hiding behind all that meat has got an excellent comedy picture out of it, and presumably the person taking the picture was laughing the whole time. When it's all said and done, though, would you want to touch or eat any of that meat after it's basically had a full-sized human rolling around in it? No, us neither. We feel sorry for the customers who came down this aisle five minutes later, with no idea about what had just happened.
Getting in with the meet and using it as a kind of blanket would be bad enough, but that outfit somehow makes everything worse. The hoodie looks like it could use a wash, but the real offense is being committed down at the end of the legs, where we find sweaty socks stuffed into sandals. There's simply no good reason for that, at all. After seeing this, we're giving serious consideration to turning vegetarian.
For reasons that really shouldn't have to be explained, you're not really supposed to bring pets into Walmart stores. A combination of live animals and fresh food is asking for trouble, and even a well-behaved dog would be tempted by the contents of the shelves in the meat aisle. Exceptions might be granted in the case of seeing-eye dogs for the blind, but we're not aware of any cause that would permit someone being allowed to roam around the store tightly clutching their pet ferret.
After staring at this picture for longer than we'd like to admit, we've come up with one possible explanation. If this man goes outside holding onto a ferret, everyone is distracted by his pet, and so nobody pays any attention to his obvious wig. As a distraction tactic, that's next level, and so we ought to stand up and applaud him. We'd still rather there wasn't a chance of a ferret breaking loose and skittering around the aisles while we're shopping, all the same.
Nobody likes attention seekers. Doing anything for the sake of making other people look at you is a phase most of us grow out of while we're still in high school. Not everyone is so lucky, though. Some people get the attention-seeking bug so badly that it plagues them for the rest of their lives, and they're constantly compelled to go out and pull stunts like this in front of shoppers who are just minding their own business.
We have no idea whether these plungers belong to the store, or whether this 'zany' couple brought them along just for the purpose of taking these pictures. What we do know is that if we got whacked by one of those plungers when this woman turned around a corner, we'd be extremely angry about it. Put the plungers down, get on with your shop, and then leave the store quietly like reasonable human beings.
We've already covered the fact that Walmart offering motorized carts to people who need them is a great idea. We're less convinced by the wisdom of tethering several of those carts together. What possible purpose could this serve? Are these shoppers so worried they might lose sight of each other at the breakneck speeds the carts move at that they had to take precautions?
Even if they've tied themselves together for safety, we can't imagine that it makes shopping a pleasant experience. What if you want wine, while someone else wants cheese? Do you just have to wait until everyone else is done on an aisle before you can move on? Did this whole convoy just do laps of the store, like a shopping train? They look like they're headed toward customer service. Maybe they don't actually know each other, and they're going to complain about their carts getting stuck together.
There's no way of telling whether this photo was taken just before this couple got married, or just after this couple got married. We're also unsure which would be worse. Why, on your wedding day, would you find it necessary to head to Walmart to stock up on essentials? Couldn't you have sent someone else - for example, one of the guests who'd come to your wedding?
There aren't many reasons why this might have happened, but let's speculate that the wedding reception has run out of food, and so they've come to stock up on the buffet. That would be a kind and noble thing to do, but it's still a duty that should be attended to by the groomsman or the maid of honor. Also, is it us, or do they look like they've had a beach wedding? Just how far have they traveled to arrive at this store? Did they elope?
If you thought that the ferret would be the peak of weirdness when it came to people bringing pets into Walmart, we have news for you. It's only going to get more bizarre from here. As a case in point, here's this woman who just couldn't face a trip to the store without bringing her iguana along for the ride. He looks comfortable. Perhaps she can't be sure what kind of food he's hungry for this week, and so she's invited him along so he can make an informed decision?
We think our favorite thing about him is the tiny little decorative bow that he's wearing. We like to imagine that he doesn't wear it at home, and he's put it on especially for his store trip because he doesn't get out much. That might seem like a strange suggestion, but it's no strangers than a woman bringing her pet iguana into a Walmart for no apparent reason.
Have you ever picked up a bag of peanuts, read the text that says 'warning: may contain peanuts,' and wondered who messed up so badly that it became necessary to put that warning there? You're looking at one of those people right now. Everybody knows that putting a plastic bag over your head is a surefire way to starve yourself of oxygen and die. Everybody, that is, apart from this child's mother.
The issue here isn't just that the child has a bag over its head - it's that it's happening right in front of the mother, and she's just looking past it like it's the most normal thing in the world. Does this happen at home? We have issues with the person who took the photograph in this case as well. Don't just stand there with your phone camera - intervene and save the child's life! When you're done with that get on the phone to the child protection agency immediately and make sure this woman is sent for urgent parental training.
We suspect that there's a story behind this outfit, and we can probably guess what it is. During peak hours at Walmart (the kind you always have to avoid, but all of us have to endure occasionally when we need something immediately), we all know what it's like to have someone walk straight into us without looking where they're going. That can be a shopping cart in the ribs, a motorized cart in the shins, or just someone's shoulder or elbow carelessly bashing into you. It's a constant cause of shopping rage.
This is a woman who has, presumably, endured that experience once too often. She's decided she's never going to have it happen again, and so she's making herself as visible as possible to anybody who's crossing her path. We think she could probably have achieved it just by wearing the high-vis yellow, though. The crude question printed on the back is overkill, and makes us worry about what might be on the front.
The issue with this photo is not the outfit. It could easily be the outfit, but we try not to criticize anybody exclusively because of their appearance. The world might be a better place if everyone just agreed that they were only going to buy and wear clothes that actually fit them, but each to their own. The clothes aren't the issue here. The face is.
We get it. People live very busy lives in the 21st century, and multitasking is often the only way to stay on top of everything you need to get done in a day. We're sure there must have been a better solution than running through Walmart with a face mask on, though. Isn't part and parcel of wearing a face mask making sure that you're relaxed when you're wearing it, and you're in a hygienic environment? Walmart doesn't fit the bill in their case. She might think she's saving time by doing this, but it's more likely she's actually wasting it.
Some of the entries we're going to make in this list aren't here for the purpose of mockery - we're also looking to celebrate the weird and wacky ways people dress up for a shopping trip. Take this gentleman, for example. No matter how unique you think your sense of fashion is, we bet you've never had the guts to try to pull off a look like this. He's brave enough, and he doesn't care what anybody else thinks about it.
We have to salute someone who stands up in front of the wardrobe, asks whether denim short-shorts or funky tights are the look of the day, and decides the best thing to do is to go with both. Having made that choice, why not top the look off with no socks, and a pair of slippers? We suspect that nobody who's ever spent time in this man's company has ever been bored.
Superheroes are very much 'in' at the moment. You almost certainly went to the movie theater to check out 'Avengers: Endgame,' and so did we. Out of the whole pantheon of superheroes who were on the big screen during that film, everyone has their own favorite. This guy clearly has a thing for Captain America. We get that; what's not to like? He's a charismatic, patriotic guy who loves his country and fights back against the forces of evil.
Even Captain America has a life to lead, and that life means stocking up on supplies whenever it's necessary to do so. Maybe he's exhausted from a full day of battling bad guys, and he's headed straight from his day job to pick up a snack without stopping off to get changed first. The icing on the cake is the pair of glasses he's wearing on the outside of his mask. At least it will have brightened the cashier's day.
So, what's actually happened here? We can see the aftermath of what presumably would make a great story, but we'd like to know a little more about how this man came to be in this situation. It's obvious from looking at any of the pictures so far that Walmart doesn't really have a dress code, but it's still considerate to shoppers to turn up in something a little more substantial than your underwear.
Although his fellow shoppers probably felt a little uncomfortable about his appearance, we don't think the underwear alone would have resulted in him being handcuffed and laid out face down in the middle of the store. He must have committed some kind of crime. We hope it wasn't shoplifting, because he doesn't have many places to hide the goods. Whatever it was, it at least seems to have amused the police!
Of all the public celebrations that crop up over the course of a year, Easter is probably the one that gets the least love. Everybody gets dressed up at Halloween and Christmas. Thanksgiving is all about gathering the family around for a large meal. At Easter, you might eat some chocolate and go to a special church service, but that's about all. That isn't enough for this guy - he wants Easter to be a bigger deal, and he's going to make it happen even if he has to do it all himself.
We can't even count all of the individual pieces of Easter flair he's wearing in this picture, but it's a lot. This is about as extra as extra gets, and we bet he's on first name terms with the Easter bunny. If there was such a thing as an Easter Tree, this is exactly what it would look like. The kid with him looks like he's enjoying the look. Maybe he'll pick up on the idea, and it will spread out across the country from there?
It's not without good reason that people hate feeling crowded in Walmart - or anywhere else for that matter. Claustrophobia isn't just a fear of being surrounded by people; it's a fear of what kind of people you're surrounded by. Anyone who's ever spent any time squashed up in close proximity to multiple members of the general public can attest to the fact that personal hygiene standards often leave a lot to be desired. Then you have people like this guy, who just make things far worse.
This is pretty much the last person we'd want to be stuck in a queue behind at the checkout, entering a lift, or just about anywhere else. What's he seriously hoping to achieve with this t-shirt? Has anybody ever burst into hysterical fits of laughter after reading it, and congratulated him on his epic sense of humor? Of course they haven't. If he did it to us, we'd class it as a premeditated fart, and call the police.
It's 2019. That means that society should have long ago reached the point where it was no longer hung up on gender stereotypes. People can do and wear whatever they want to long as it doesn't infringe on anybody else's freedom, and that makes a senior citizen wearing an impressive red dress absolutely fine in our book. More power to him.
What really sells it as an outfit, though, is the fact that he's a dead ringer for George Carlin. Everything about his face and his expression tells you that he's a deadly serious man who possesses the wisdom of the ages, but the dress says that he's a free spirit and doesn't take himself too seriously. In any event, he looks fabulous, and we're here for it. We bet he feels 90% cooler than all the guys in thee wearing jeans, too.
We're back to the 'no pets in Walmart' category again. Seeing a single dog in Walmart wouldn't be all that shocking. It still wouldn't be right, but it wouldn't be shocking. Seeing three of them at once definitely raises an eyebrow, though. On top of that, there's absolutely no way that this can be practical. They might only be small dogs, but they still take up room. Where's she supposed to put all her shopping?
It doesn't appear that any of the dogs are on a lead, or even have leads. That makes us wonder how she got them from the car to the store. Did she just herd them like little sheep? She's also going to have to be very careful about what she puts in that cart. If even one thing goes in there that looks like a tasty snack to the dogs, she's going to find herself pushing a violent dog fight on wheels - not to mention that her food will disappear long before she gets the chance to bag it and take it home.
We love the 1960s look as much as anyone else does. Some things never go out of fashion, and nothing says 'I was there at the first-ever Woodstock' like wearing your original hippy gear for everybody else to see. There is such a concept as too much of a good thing, though, and we think that this gentleman might have crossed that threshold. When we say 'might,' we mean he's taken a running jump all the way over it.
There's probably a really good reason why his upper body and half of his face is covered in what looks like gold paint. Maybe he picked something up in the store, and it exploded all over him. Maybe an accident happened at home, and he's had to go to Walmart to buy something to remove the paint with. It looks as if he's noticed that someone's taking pictures of him, though, and that expression is a sheepish one.
There's a common belief in the world of fashion that anything that's been fashionable once will eventually come back around, and be fashionable again. If you remember the early 1990s, then you likely also remember Kris Kross. As a pair of rappers, they didn't exactly set the world on fire, but they did start a brief trend for wearing your clothes back to front. It wasn't practical, and it didn't make any sense, but it did catch on for a while. All the cool kids at school were doing it.
This fashion pioneer has obviously decided that the Kris Kross look is well overdue a revival, and so he's trying it out on shoppers. We have no doubt whatsoever that it will have turned a number of heads. He's even taken things a step further by cutting off the sleeves, and making his polo into a tank top. We'd have awarded him full marks if he'd gone the whole way and done all the buttons up at the back.
While there is definitely such a thing as the 'sports casual' look, this isn't how most people go about trying to achieve it. Sports casual usually involves a smart pair of jeans, a casual jacket, and maybe a polo neck. This guy has gone for a totally different approach, and we're not sure it's one we'd ever try out ourselves. He seems to love it, though, and so our hat's off to him. Perhaps he could use it to cover up that headband.
It's the sensible shirt which really sets this look off for us. If everything he was wearing was crazy, we could just write him off as one of the many people with a crazy dress sense you'll find in any given Walmart on any given day. The shirt suggests a degree of dignity, though, which is totally at odds with the jean shorts and that tennis headgear. Tucking the shirt into the waistband of the shorts is the coup de gras.
We're going to go out on a limb here, and say that this is a picture of a couple, and they've both decided that their best look for going to the store is camouflage. Camouflage for him, and camouflage for her. Walmart does sometimes feel like a warzone, and it's probably quite helpful if you're able to blend into a background for a while, waiting to emerge when things calm down.
Of course, if you're both wearing camouflage, there's a risk that you won't be able to see each other. That's probably why they've both gone for matching white tops to make themselves stand out - thus nullifying the effect of the camouflage. If they weren't a couple when the picture was taken, by the way, we bet they are now. If you saw someone dressed exactly like you, you'd have to talk to them. At least you know you have something in common right from the start.
After looking at this picture for so long it started to feel uncomfortable, we think we understand what's going on here. When you're as tall and thin as this guy is, you're going to stand out in a crowd no matter what you do. You could be wearing the most normal outfit in the world, and people would still stop and stare at you like you were an animal in a zoo. If it's going to happen anyway, you might as well give them something to really stare at.
We don't think he could have done much more to make himself look remarkable, but he gets additional credit for those heels. Firstly, they look like they're a nightmare to walk in, and secondly, he must already have been over 6 feet and 6 inches tall even without them. Now he's a giant. We can only hope the woman he's standing behind knows he's there, or she's going to get the shock of her life when she turns around.
Shopping is a tiring experience. You know it, we know it, everybody knows it. Your best strategy is to get into the store, grab everything you need as quickly as possible, and high-tail out of there at the earliest opportunity. Somewhere along the line, it's all gone badly wrong for this poor individual. It looks like they've successfully completed their shopping, but it took every ounce of energy they had. Now, with nothing left to give, they've had no option but to stop for a nap before they head back to the car.
We're impressed they've managed to fall asleep on that bench at all - they're cold, they're hard, and they're not even comfortable to sit on. Who knows how long he's been there? We find ourselves hoping that he's not alone in the store, and someone will eventually come back to reclaim him. When they do, they can have a word with him about wearing socks with sandals, which we're starting to notice is a trend among Walmart's wilder customers.
We're back to questions of gender again. Who knew that we would be talking about the hot-button topics of current societal debate in the middle of a light-hearted article about crazy people in Walmart? If this person wants to be referred to as a woman, then they have that right. Everyone is free to be whomever they wish to be, and we're not here to poke fun at them for their lifestyle choices.
Most people, however, don't feel the need to stick a label on their back to inform people of their gender. Because it's on his back, we're a little suspicious of whether he actually put it there himself. It's entirely possible that somewhere in this branch of Walmart is a mischievous child who thinks there's nothing funnier than sticking labels on people's backs when they're not looking. At least it doesn't say 'kick me.'
Technically speaking, there's actually nothing wrong about the way this guy is dressed. He's not showing the world anything that should normally be kept private, and he's completely covered. This is a lot less offensive than seeing someone walking around with their bottom hanging out of their shorts or pants. Nevertheless, it's still a bold fashion statement which we don't expect to see replicated by a major fashion house any time soon.
This whole 'wear your pants low' trend started in rap music around twenty years ago, but it's being stepped up a gear here. Normally, wearing them low just means that they're a couple of inches below the waistline. He's decided that it's fine to wear shorts below your entire butt, so long as your butt is covered up by your wifebeater. One question though; how is he managing to keep the wifebeater in place like that? Is it actually more like a tunic?
What we have here is a complex dichotomy of two different personal statements happening at the same time. The baseball cap and the t-shirt which proclaims this gentleman to be a 'smooth talker' and a 'straight shooter' say that he's about as straight-laced as straight-laced could possibly be. As for what's going on with his lower torso; well, that's a completely different story.
Underwear doesn't have to be gender-specific, and so we're all free to wear whatever makes us happy down there. We just aren't convinced that this is making him all that happy. To our eyes, it looks like he's dealing with a particularly uncomfortable wedgie. Perhaps he's on the phone to his wife, asking if there was some kind of mistake made when the fresh washing was handed out that morning. We're sure he could handle any question anyone asked of him about his clothing choices though - he is, after all, a smooth talker.
Many, many years ago, somebody invented jeans. The world decided that jeans were a great invention, and the idea caught on like wildfire. Everybody owns at least one comfortable pair of jeans, and the world is a better place for the invention. A while later, someone decided that distressed jeans were the next step forward. That's when people intentionally started wearing faded, frayed jeans, or jeans with holes cut out of the knees and thighs. Now, we've finally arrived at this look. Welcome to the future.
This is the style choice of someone who likes jean shorts, but also likes the comfortable feeling of wearing a full pair of jeans. That's why she's cut away almost the entire middle section, and left just enough material to make sure what's left of the legs doesn't simply fall down around her ankles. The structural integrity probably leaves a lot to be desired, but in a world full of jeans, she can say she owns a pair that's truly one of a kind.
Changing rooms are a lot of effort, aren't they? You have to round up all the clothes you want, go and find the section of the store that allows you to try clothes on, attract the attention of a store worker, and get a pass so you can gain entry to one of the rooms. More often than not, you have to wait in line for everyone else to finish trying their clothes on before you get your turn. This woman simply doesn't have time for that, and so she's taken matters into her own hands.
The quickest and most convenient way to find out if clothes fit you or look good on you is to strip down right then and there, and try them on in front of everyone else. You'll attract a lot of attention by doing so, so there are plenty of people who'll be able to give you their opinion. She has absolutely no shame, and she's getting things done much faster than any of the rest of us do when we're considering a new outfit.
Everything has gone wrong here. That top is far too long, and those jeans are far too short. We're not even sure how this began. Did he walk into the store wearing only a gown, and now he's trying on jeans and belts? Alternatively, did he walk in shirtless but wearing jeans, and now he's trying to find a suitable gown to complete the look? We'll never know, and the question might stay with us forever.
He's definitely not going to be able to walk anywhere with his jeans around his ankles like that, so we presume he pulled them back up at some point and carried on with his business. It remains possible that he was always wearing both the jeans and the gown, but if that's true, we have to start asking questions about why he's dropped his pants in the middle of Walmart. That might take us down a very dark path, so we're just going to leave it alone and move on.
Somewhere, there's a hairdresser wondering where their customer is. Here's the answer. With nothing to do while the rollers did their thing in her hair, she's taken the opportunity to get her Walmart shopping done before she goes back to get her new look finished. It's multitasking again, and she's excelling at it. We even think she might be watching television on her phone. There is simply no upper limit to this woman's skill set.
Unintentionally, the line of rollers on the top of her head looks a little bit like a mohawk. We don't know if she was looking for the punk rock look when he went out of the house that morning, but it's the look she's ended up with. Thanks to the opportunist who took this picture, it will also forever be the look that the internet knows her for.
Any personal stylist worthy of the job title will tell you that matching colors are vital to pulling off an outfit. There's a limit to that advice, though, and this woman has exceeded it by a million miles. If we saw this person walking around the Walmart near us, we'd wonder if we'd been drugged, or were dreaming. After concluding that we were awake and lucid, our next best guess would be that the smurfs are real, and one of them has come grocery shopping.
The perfectly-matched blue shade of her pants and sweater would be quite an achievement in isolation, but topping things off with a blue wig to show people that she means business is a masterstroke. Also, take note of what's in her hand - we don't know what it is, but it's definitely blue. It's like something's caught her eye in the store, and she's thought 'do you know what I need? More blue stuff.' Who are we to tell her she's wrong?
We have to feel bad for the girl in this picture. In any other photograph, and in any other set of circumstances, she would be the star of the show in any picture she was part of. That outfit - and the shorts in particular - are on the outer edge of daring, but she's got the figure to pull it off, and she looks fantastic. She's just completely overshadowed here by the fact that she's stood next to Michael Jackson. It's her own fault - it appears that she's with him by choice.
We were under the impression that Jackson died in 2010, but this picture provides solid evidence that he survived. There's no way that this has happened by accident. It's hard to accidentally look like Jackson to begin with, but the choice of outfit - coupled with the face mask - confirm that whoever this man is, he's chosen to rock the Jackson look, and he doesn't take any time off when he goes out shopping. We wonder if the store detectives told him to beat it?
With apologies to anybody who finds looking at other people's feet slightly disgusting, here's someone who's managed to combine two different styles of footwear together to produce a striking effect. Tennis shoes are a great choice to go shopping in. They're comfortable, they provide good ankle support, and they generally boost your chances of making it back home without your feet getting sore. Just getting through a shopping trip in comfort wasn't enough for this fashionista, though.
The drawback of tennis shoes is that they cover your toes. How is anybody supposed to know you've been for a pedicure if they can't see your toes? There's only one thing for it - cut away the toe-end of the shoes, and let your toes out to breathe! You get all the ankle support of a tennis shoe, and all the admiring glances you'd receive if you were showing your foot art off with a pair of sandals. Everybody wins, probably.
The rules and regulations about where you can get married have changed quite a lot during the past few decades. Once upon a time, if you wanted to tie the knot, you had to go to a church to do it. The first stage of relaxation of the rules allowed for the creation of registry offices, and Las Vegas turned drive-thru weddings into an industry. Now you can get married pretty much wherever you like so long as you can find someone willing to officiate the ceremony.
We're not sure we'd ever love a store enough to get married in it, and even if we did, it wouldn't be Walmart. We can only assume that this happy couple either worked together in Walmart, or met in Walmart. Otherwise, there's just no reason anyone in their right mind would get married in the middle of an aisle there. At least they were in no danger of running out of food for their guests during the reception.
Somewhere, there's a princess waiting on a rescuer that's never going to come, because Mario's been distracted by all the money-saving offers in his local Walmart. There's no sign of Luigi anywhere, but there's absolutely no way that this man has left the house without being completely aware that he looks exactly like one of the most famous and beloved video game characters of all time.
The red cap and the t-shirt are on point, but we're going to have to dock him points for the beard. If he really wanted to commit to the part, he'd shave that fine facial fuzz off and leave himself with a classic handlebar mustache. We can't quite see what he's buying, but we really, really hope it's mushrooms. Perhaps he offered to pay for his goods by sorting out any plumbing issues the store might have encountered.
Oh wow, there's just so much going on here. We don't know whether to call this a hairstyle or a coat. We also don't know whether someone should go and tap them on the shoulder, ask them how life in Endor is, and inquire about the health of Han Solo. We do know something, though - if we were working on a customer service desk and Chewbacca turned up, we'd do whatever they asked us to as quickly as possible.
The weave is a fine invention when used correctly, as are hair extensions. The aim of the game is to get a hairpiece that matches your existing hair as closely as possible. In every way imaginable, this person has failed at that task. If part of what's on the back of their head turned around and started barking at us, we wouldn't be surprised. There's no way to say for certain that there's nothing alive in there.
Every now and then, we all forget something on our way out of the house in the morning. How many times have you had to turn back because you've forgotten your wallet or purse, for example? How often have you gone to lock the door, and then realized you can't do it because the key is still inside? Sometimes - horror of horrors - we even go out and forget our mobile phone, and spend the next few hours in an anxious sweat. This woman has managed to surpass even that nightmare.
Somehow, when she's gone to get dressed, she's forgotten to put on a skirt or pants. She's been riding around, on her mobility cart, wearing nothing but a vest top and her underwear. We bet she felt really silly when she realized, but credit to her for trying to style it out. We do hope that the seat of the cart was given a thorough clean before anybody else sat on it, though.
Our helpful photographer feared that you might not spot what was happening with this picture, so they've helpfully drawn enormous arrows on it to make sure you get the point. If it wasn't for that, you might occupy your time with wondering what those gray things are which the woman has hanging from the back of her head, and whether she's simply put bunny ears on the wrong way around. If that's what's happened, credit to her man for distracting attention away from her faux pas.
We say 'man,' but there is an outside chance that it's a mannequin, and she's just decided that she likes it so much she's going to take it home with her. If it's not a mannequin, it's someone who's still finding new ways to take part in the planking craze that happened a few years ago. It's either that, or he simply got bored of walking and there were no more mobility carts available.
Ladies, admit it, you've all been there. OK, you probably haven't, but express some solidarity with this style queen who knows you're looking, and enjoys it. This dress is so transparent that it may as well not be there at all, and she must know that because she's decided to tie it as loosely as possible around the sides. Everyone who's walking past is getting an eyeful, and she's just casually playing it all off while wearing sunglasses indoors. We wish we had a tenth of her confidence.
What's the story here, then? We think she's planning an intimate, romantic night in with her partner. She's set the tone at home, she's put rose petals on the bed, she's lit all the candles and got herself dressed up - and then she's realized she hasn't got any of the ingredients she needs to make the meal she was planning to cook. Diving out to Walmart was her only option, and so she's done it. We applaud her.
We did promise that the issues with people's pets were only going to get crazier, and now here we are. This woman simply couldn't bring herself to part with her little monkey for five minutes, and so he's come along to Walmart for the shopping trip. He's even got a big, comfy blanket to make sure he doesn't feel the cold too much. Bless him; he's absolutely adorable!
We can't quite decide whether this monkey is very young, or very old. It looks small enough to be a newborn, but there's something about his expression that tells you he's seen things. Maybe it's just the case that he's seen a thousand different Walmart stores, and he's already tired of life before his first birthday. It's to be hoped that he didn't escape anywhere near the bananas; nobody would ever have seen him again.
We've already seen a picture of someone getting married in Walmart. That just proves that people can fall in love no matter where they are - even if it's a dark, depressing, crowded Walmart store full of stressed shoppers. Something truly magical must happen to make people fall head over heels for each other in an environment like that, and we know exactly what that 'something' is. It's this guy, who lives his life just to bring people together.
Under that thick mustache is a happy guy who just wants to bring more love into the world. He's brought his bow and arrows with him, and there can be no doubting that he seems himself as a modern-day Cupid. He's even wearing angel wings to make sure you get the point, and everybody knows that red is the color of love and romance. We're not sure we'd be feeling too loved up if someone shot us with an arrow while we were checking the 'best before' date on our eggs, though.
Up top, this man is all business. Down below, he's all party. We've seen a few blends of the formal and the informal already on this list, but if there's a prize for the category, this guy is going to get it, and nobody else is even going to come close. The dinner shirt, bow tie and pocket square he's wearing could possibly scream 'classy' any louder. The skirt and tights? Pure naughty schoolgirl. He's a walking work of art.
Our level of curiosity only intensifies when we look at what he's pushing around in his cart. Is it our imagination, or is that actually an enormous amount of iced tea? What kind of party is this guy going to, and where was our invitation? As an outside bet, we'd say it was Scottish-themed, and this was the closest he could get to a kilt. The tights are just there to stop his legs from getting cold.
We misled you when we said that the monkey was as crazy as we were going to get with the pets. Everybody stand back, and take a second to admire this man patrolling Walmart with his pet tortoise. Let's take a further second to appreciate the fact that he felt like it was necessary to put the tortoise on a lead, just in case it broke into a sprint and got away from him when he wasn't looking.
Tortoises are legendarily slow. We can't think of a reason why you'd want to take one into a store with you in the first place, but at least the dogs, monkeys, iguanas and other animals we've seen so far were either capable of keeping up, or they were being carried. This tortoise is literally being taken for a walk. That makes one of two things true; either this man completed the slowest Walmart shopping trip in recorded history, or the poor tortoise spent most of its time being dragged along the floor.
We've already seen a guy who looks just like Mario of 'Super Mario Brothers' fame doing his shopping at Walmart. Now we might just have found another video game character. Just like Mario has Luigi as a sidekick, Sonic the Hedgehog has Tails. Sonic must be just out of frame in this shot, but we've definitely found Tails. He's just a little shy, and he's hiding up the back of this man's t-shirt.
All joking aside, we have no idea what's going on here. Everything else about the way this man is dressed and his demeanor is completely normal. The fox tail just seems to come from nowhere, and doesn't serve any purpose other than to confuse people who are looking at him. Maybe that's the whole point of it? It doesn't look very practical - we can't imagine it's much fun to sit down on.
Not everyone is in agreement with the idea of men heading out into the world wearing short skirts, but if we had legs like this, we would one hundred percent be doing the exact same thing. We had to double-check that this picture wasn't the work of photoshop - it looks almost as if someone's taken pictures of two completely different people, and spliced them together to create a composite issue. They haven't though - this is genuine.
The bulky nature of the jacket makes their top half look so much bigger than their bottom half that it's a wonder they don't fall over - especially in those heels. The presence of the hat means either that this picture was taken somewhere close to Christmas, or they've gotten straight out of bed to come to the store without taking their nightcap off.
Children often look forward to going out shopping far more than their parents do. They don't have to worry about how much money is being spent, and they'll often get a treat or a new toy into the bargain. Big stores are a world of wonder to them, and they like nothing better than running around the toy section or the technology aisles, trying to pick out a television that's far too big to fit into your house.
That spirit of joy seems to have deserted this child, though. They look well and truly fed up, and they just want to lay down to go to sleep. We're not sure where their pram is, but the conveyor belt is just going to have to do for now. We're not sure what the shop worker did when they reached the cash register, though - we doubt the scanner is really programmed to deal with this.
One of the great cruelties of going to a large store is that there are often so many items in there that you can't actually find what you're looking for. It's a classic case of not being able to see the wood for the trees, and we've all experienced it more than once. We know the embarrassment of calling over a member of staff and asking where to find something, only to have them point it out right in front of our eyes.
By the looks of things, all this shopper wanted to do was find an accessory for their iPhone. They weren't prepared to be confronted by an entire wall of iPhone accessories, and it's simply more than they can deal with right now. Their brain has shut down, and they're just going to have a rest, allow their mind to recharge, and then wake up and try again. In the meantime, picking items off the bottom row might be a difficult task for other shoppers.
The purpose of the mobility carts is to help people who have difficulty walking around a Walmart store themselves. For the majority of children, that isn't an issue. They're bursting with energy, and they can run all the way around a store five times before we even have a chance to get around it once. If they over-exert themselves, though, then you run into an issue. Your child needs to nap, and there's nowhere to go for them to put their head down. That's when you have to think outside of the box, as this clever shopper has done.
When his child decided that walking alongside the cart was more effort than they were willing to give, he's just trussed their feet up to the back of the cart, and decided to pull them along. That thick coat is providing enough protection to stop him getting bumped by the floor too hard - although he's going to have to keep a careful eye out to make sure nobody stands on him.
We're all familiar with the game 'Where's Waldo.' Waldo is a smiling man who wears a stripy red and white sweater, and yet despite that he somehow manages to blend in with a crowd so well that it can take you hours to find him. We think this lady's outfit might be slightly inspired by Waldo, although there's no risk whatsoever of anybody who's looking with her failing to find her. She's made sure of that.
Normally, we'd say anybody who was dressed like this was probably heading to a dance music festival, or a nightclub. This is the sort of outfit that plays very well in such an environment. We're not aware of any dance music festivals or nightclubs that require people to bring DVDs along with them, though, so that might be out as an idea. Perhaps she's just on her way home from the party of a lifetime, and she needs a nice gentle movie to help her calm down.