Personality Traits Men Look For In The Lady Of Their Dreams

Lifestyle | By Harriet King | June 18, 2018

Good looks are a huge benefit for a girl trying to catch a man's attention. But it's not enough to make him fall in love and dream about building a long and happy relationship.

Self-improvement is something we should all consider. We're not saying you're not beautiful just the way you are, but sometimes we all just need a little tweak to become more appealing to future love interests. In most cases you'll find that all it takes is a tiny bit of effort to reap much bigger rewards.

But don't worry ladies, you won't have to hit the gym seven days a week or go on some crazy diet - believe it or not, the things men want in a woman are a little less superficial than looks. And trust us, the last one on this list is the most important!


The very first thing many people find attractive in a potential partner is the feeling they get from being around them; a sense of comfort and belonging. Nobody wants to spend time around people who are cold or seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

A good man will make keeping his woman happy his number one priority, but first he has to know that sunshine exists within her soul. Nobody is one hundred percent happy one hundred percent of the time, but a woman whose natural demeanor is one of sunshine and joy radiates with the feeling, and it's one that man will want to share in and keep hold of. Happy people build happy lives together. Good moods are infectious, and if we can find happiness in someone else that reflects our own, it's a solid foundation for love.


Most men want to be with a real woman. And that doesn't mean one who's caked in makeup or wearing clothes that cling to every inch of their body, it means one who makes him feel like a man. Not many men will tell you this, but masculinity can be insecure, and when a man feels emasculated, it damages his sense of self-worth.

Men feel most at ease in a relationship with a woman who knows the difference between male and female gender roles. Ask him to do the man's work around the house. Demand that he does the heavy lifting for you. Be delicate for him, and don't be afraid to show vulnerability. Make him work for you; and the more he feels macho, the more he'll appreciate you for it.


When we talk about security in a relationship, we really mean confidence. There is nothing men hate more than feeling that they have to check in every five minutes so you know where they are and what they're doing. They shouldn't have to tell you that you're beautiful five times a day when they show it with their behavior and they say it when the mood is right.

Be confident in yourself. Feel sexy. Feel strong. These are some of the qualities he likely fell in love with in the first place, so keep hold of him. Trust him to keep to his promises, and to love and respect you the way he's told you he will. He doesn't want a mother looking out for him and smothering him; he wants a lover.


If you're in love, you probably think about your man a hundred times a day, so why not let him know that? Tiny little things make a difference; his favorite meal or takeaway in the middle of a busy week. A little gift - even something as simple as getting him a new pair of shoes when you've noticed that his are wearing out!

Thoughtful acts remind him that he's loved, and when he gets this sort of attention when he doesn't ask for it, he's never going to go anywhere else. So, give him a massage when he looks stressed, and don't wait for him to ask. Send him a sexy text to read when he's on his lunch break at work - gently let him know he's on your mind. Best of all? He'll give you the attention right back.


A warm smile at the beginning of a day makes such a difference to waking up in the morning, and another one greeting you when you come home can make all the stresses and strains of daily life dissolve in an instant. A lot of people will tell you the first thing they noticed about their partner was their smile.

Smiling does more than tell your man that you're feeling good - it reassures him that you're happy with him. It gives him a sense of security; it says "Everything is okay". It can defuse an argument before it gets out of control, and it can settle nerves and anxieties. If being around your man fills you with joy, don't be afraid to show it on your face. There's a reason that the smile is the most popular emoji!


Let's be honest - when he fell in love with you, he didn't just want to hold your hand and watch movies with you. He had other activities on his mind, and he likes to know that you feel the same way about him. There's a difference between sensuality and sexuality, and it's important you understand it.

We're not asking you to prostitute yourself for him - and he wouldn't necessarily want that anyway - but you can really get him going with the tone of your voice, your choice of dress, a suggestive smile. Sensuality covers all of the senses; sight, sound, smell, touch, and you can find ways to provoke desire in him with all of them. Whisper to him, use your best 'come to bed' eyes, try new perfumes. A truly sensual woman commands the attention of men and keeps hold of it.


Remember what we said about men not wanting you checking up on them all the time? They shouldn't feel like they have to do that for you, either. Paranoia and jealousy kills relationships; as much as an unpredictable wild child can be sexy in the short term, they don't tend to make great long-term partners.

This isn't a hard one to live up to - if you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you're going to be somewhere, be there. Don't keep secrets from him, don't give him reason to doubt your word, and don't make him worry if there's no reason to. "Treat them mean and keep them keen" has always been a lie; trust is a major investment for men to make in people and once they give it, you also get their loyalty. Don't abuse it.


Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes, your man is going to make mistakes (and let's be honest, women make them, too). He's going to take the wrong decision, and it might hurt you and him emotionally, physically or financially. He's as human as you are, and every honest man will tell you they don't always get everything right, even when they try very hard to make it look like they know what they're doing.

During bad times, times of doubt or times of struggle, be there for him. Understand what's wrong and accept that he didn't mean to hurt you. If he's a good man, he already feels bad enough for whatever he did. If he's lost, if he's struggling, if he's down, then he doesn't need punishment. He needs a hand to hold.

Love Of Sex

We're not going to tell you anything you don't already know when we say that most men like to have sex as much as possible. But it's a myth that they always want it more than women; if you're honest with yourself, you already know that, too! You know how sexy it is to feel wanted, and that feeling is only more intense in men. They need to feel wanted; their sense of masculinity demands it of them.

A common cause of unhappiness in long term relationships is that a couple's sex life dwindles as time goes on. People get busy with work, or tired, or too focused on other things, and they stop making time for it. A great sex life shouldn't just be for the honeymoon period. It should be forever.

Cooking Skills

You know that old phrase "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? It's a cliché for a reason, and it couldn't be truer. Enjoying good food is a sensual experience, and cooking for your man is a show of love and attention.

Don't get this wrong; we're not saying you should cook for him every night, that would be sexist. He should do his fair share! But when you cook for him, make it an occasion. Make a big deal out of it and go the extra mile. Throwing something in the microwave doesn't count! Love can be measured in care and attention, and if you put effort and energy into making something special for the two of you to eat together, then you'll have yourself a happy, appreciative man.


How you dress and style yourself says a lot about your sense of self-worth and your confidence; and we know that confidence is sexy. Women of any shape and size can find a look that suits them, and you know yourself that when you look good, you feel good. Guess what? Men notice that about you, too!

Be bold and bright; sweat pants and a hoodie are fine for slouching around the house in, but not for presenting yourself to other people. You don't need to spend a fortune on top of the range designer gear; most men can't tell the difference between a $50 dress or a $500 dress so long as it looks good on you. Mix and match your clothes, accessorize, pay attention to your hair and makeup, and men will pay attention to you. A great look stands out from the crowd, and if you want him to see you, you need to make sure you can be seen!

Cheerful Attitude

Life doesn't always go your way, and the hard times can get anyone down, but you can't control that. What you can control is your attitude to it, and whether that glass is half empty or half full. People flock to positivity, and men are looking for someone who can bring happiness into their life. Who wants to set up home with someone who's always on the lookout for negatives?

Laugh at life when it's funny. Find the silver lining around every cloud. Keep the sparkle in your eye and share it with those around you; you never know who's falling in love with it. Be the optimist, the dreamer of big dreams and the hoper of high hopes. Bring cheer to a man's heart, and he'll keep hold of it and bring it right back to you.

Fun And Flirty

A cheeky wink. A knowing smile. Even something as innocent as the way you eat or drink; everyone loves to indulge in a bit of playful flirting. It's one of the best parts about dating. But it shouldn't just be reserved for the beginning of a relationship. Flirting keeps things exciting, and it's a habit you should keep for the long term. Who doesn't love the thrill of a flirty exchange?

Don't be too obvious - there's a big difference between flirting and smut - but a double entendre, a raised eyebrow and a dirty laugh can tell a man that you're fun to be around and be with. Indulge your playful side, be a tease and practice "that look" - you know the one we mean! All men love a naughty girl.


Let's be honest - nobody has ever said "the thing I love about her is that she always plays so safe". We're not suggesting you take up bungee jumping but take a little risk now and then - be both risky and risqué. Show that you can be adventurous.

And whilst we're talking about being risqué, show him a little bit of what he wants, whilst staying classy. A skirt that's only six inches long and a top that's split down to your naval leaves nothing to the imagination, and you have to get a man's imagination working overtime if you want to get yourself on his mind. Show just enough skin to get him going, but not enough to give him the full picture. He'll want to work to see the rest!

A Sexy Voice

Very few things drive a man wild like being told what he wants to hear by a woman who knows how to use her voice the right way. A soft, sexy, breathy tone lets him know exactly what's on your mind without you needing to spell it out to him, and it'll really make him snap to attention. Do we need to say more?

We're not saying you should start talking like you're working on a phone sex line, but a few choice words whispered sweetly will have him falling at your feet before he knows what's hit him. A word of advice, though - if this idea is new to you, you might want to practice it at home before trying it out in real life. It's not something that always comes naturally.

Not Afraid To Ask For Help

Here's a newsflash for you - men are just as needy as women. They feel every bit as insecure, and they need to feel wanted as much as you do. We already know that they take pride in their masculinity, and they love to feel like 'real' macho men. So, get their attention by making them feel that way.

Deep down in their DNA, men are still hunter-gatherers and want to be seen as your protector. So, ask them for help and assistance - get them to do some housework for you, ask them to walk you home. Get them carrying your bags and convince them you need them to do it and only they can help you. They bask in it, and it gives them a chance to feel valued and useful to you. If they feel like you need them, they'll always make themselves available.


When do we really feel at our best? It's when we're relaxed, happy, and surrounded by people we love and trust. We all know that feeling of relief when we walk through the door and come home after we've been away that while. Special people can give us that feeling too, and men look for it in women.

Men want to feel your arms around them, and have it feel like home. They want you to be their shelter from the world outside, and the thing they look forward to coming back to. We eat comfort food when we want to make ourselves feel better; we seek comfort from people for the exact same reason. If a man associates you with a feeling of ease and peace, he'll never wander far from home.


Confidence is sexy. Everybody knows it. As Ru Paul always says, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else?" Confidence comes with its own attractive charisma and allure; it's like an aura, and people pick up on it the moment you walk into a room. Good things will come to you when you feel good, too.

Men will value women the same way they value themselves, so always treat yourself like you deserve the best out of life. Know what you want, and don't be afraid to ask for it. Know who you are and be proud of it. Don't be cheap, never give yourself away easily, and show passion and belief in the things you love. Confidence is like a fire; men will stay close to it to keep warm.


Nobody would watch a movie if the ending was given away at the start. We all love detective shows and thrillers because we love the unknown, and we're no different with people. Though hopefully there's no murder at the end of all this!

Don't be obvious with everything you do; live your own life, do your own things. Don't always be around your man every second of every day. Pursue your own interests and hobbies and don't feel like you have to explain everything. Men are fascinated by mystery, so keep him on his toes and always make him feel there's still more to find out about you. As long as he thinks there are still depths to explore, he'll go on exploring them. Make yourself a question that he's constantly seeking the answer to.


When two people really 'click', they can communicate with each other without a word being said. A simple look, a use of body language or a gesture can say more than a thousand words to someone who knows how to interpret them. None of us are designed for solitude; we all want someone so share life with, and someone who understands us.

A great relationship becomes part of us; we become co-dependent and come to rely on each other. Without the other, we feel incomplete. Build a strong connection with your man. Become his confidante and his counselor. Listen to him and make time for him, because that's how you develop a bond that lasts. People in relationships often refer to their partner as 'their other half' because that's how it really feels when a true loving bond has been formed.


Men are surprisingly tactile creatures; they love to be touched, to be held and to be kissed. It's a reassurance that you want to be around them and you want physical contact with them. Showing affection to a man is the best way of telling them "I want to be around you and I want to be close to you".

When you come home from work, before you tell him all about your day, give him a kiss and tell him you missed him, and how happy you are to see him. It will make him feel wanted and secure, and that he's more important in your life than little concern that goes on away from him. Affection can take many forms; kindness, warmth, reassurance and support. Never miss an opportunity to your man and notice how much he loves receiving it.


Remember everything we said about the importance of your man being able to trust you, and how you had to work to earn that trust? The same is true in reverse; if he's the right man for you, he's going to treat you with dignity and respect, and he won't hurt you. That means that you've got to give him the leeway to do the things he enjoys in his own life.

If he's out with his buddies, or he's working late, take him at his word. Don't ask him who he's speaking to every time he sends a text from his phone. Don't snoop on his social media accounts. Nothing drives a man away faster than a woman who seems to be stalking his every move and questioning his every action. He doesn't want to justify himself to you on a daily basis. Trust him to do right by you, and he'll respect you for giving him the space.


This might be the single biggest one of them all; men want to be desired by women more than they want anything else in the world. For most of them, it's more important than the car they drive and how much money is in their bank account. If they don't believe they're attractive to the opposite sex, their confidence falls through the floor.

A lot of men grow up wanting to be sports players, or music stars, and almost none of them will achieve that dream, so you need to fill the gap for them. Become their biggest fan and their most enthusiastic supporter. Tell them how great they are, make them feel wanted, and always leave them feeling that they can't get enough. Men who feel desired are happy men, and happy men are better to you!


We're not talking equal rights here; if a man doesn't believe that women are equal to men, why do you even want him in the first place? We're talking equality of ambition and equality of feeling.

In some relationships - maybe even relationships you've had yourself in the past - one person clearly loves the other more than they're loved in return, and the person who's loved less becomes insecure over time. If you're going to invest emotion in someone, you want to get the exact same investment back. In the same way, if one partner is driven to succeed in life and in work and the other is happy to sit back and take the easy road, that's not going to work in the long term either, because the driven one is going to feel the other is holding them back. Men want a woman who loves them as much as they love her, and someone with similar goals in life.

Good Grooming

This should be an obvious one, but we'll spell it out for you anyway; men are more attracted to women who take good care of themselves. And we're not just talking about showering every day and washing your hair, we're talking whole lifestyles.

It's a fact that sometimes when we're single, we go to the gym, work out, diet, eat healthily and do everything we can to make ourselves the most attractive 'me' we can be. But then as soon as we enter a relationship, we give up on all of that because we're happy, and we're no longer striving to attract new partners. Men aren't stupid, they notice this. If you're prepared to go to all that effort to make yourself beautiful, you should maintain it. Stay in shape, dress up for dates, and be the person you were when he met you for as long as you can. We all grow old but do it gracefully!


Ever done a hard job at work that you didn't get thanked for? Or stayed late, worked unpaid overtime and pulled out all the stops to meet a deadline, only for other people to treat it as no big deal? Feels terrible, doesn't it? And it's every bit as true in a relationship - especially for men, who can easily get a bruised ego if they feel undervalued or under appreciated.

If your man is going the extra mile for you, make sure you know how much you appreciate him for it. If he's working extra hard to bring in money for a holiday, tell him how much you value what he does for your relationship. Don't take him for granted and show warmth and affection for all the little things he does to put a smile on your face. He'll take encouragement from it, and he'll carry on doing it.


Men will deliberately give you the impression that they're fine on their own, they know what they're doing, and they cope with anything. They like to play the hero. In reality, they're no different to you - they need emotional support and understanding, and reassurance that they're on the right track.

This can come in many forms; if there's a promotion open at work and they're not sure they're right for it - but you just know they are - tell them. Encourage them to push themselves and drive forward. Equally, they may have a hobby or interest that's nothing to do with work or you - perhaps they play amateur sports, or perform music or paint, and you have no interest in it and it doesn't have any benefit to you. It's still important to them, and it's something they enjoy, so take an interest in it and encourage and support them. If they feel they have your blessing, you become part of their success and they'll love you for it.


The people we prize most in our lives, apart from our own family, is those who show loyalty to us - the friends who were there for the good times as well as the bad and have given us emotional support when we've needed us the most. The ones who don't walk away when the going gets tough.

Men need loyalty from their woman more than any other person in the world. You're the one they'll open up to more than their friends, and you're the one who has the biggest influence on their state of mind. Be prepared to offer your strength when they need to lean on you. Stay close to them when they're down and pick them back up when they fall. A man will never walk away from a woman if she's his rock.

Ability To Grow Together

When you start a relationship, you want someone who's going to make you feel good about yourself; tell you how attractive you are, make you feel wanted and valued. And men of course want the same about you. As the relationship develops, the things you look for in each other become more detailed and expand into other areas of your life.

Men want the same thing you should want - someone they can build a life with and grow into it together - someone who's going to encourage them to be the best person they can possibly be, and also help you to achieve your full potential too. A great relationship is a real partnership, and if you find someone with similar goals to you, you can grow into it together; better than you ever could have done alone.


There's an old saying which goes "no man is an island", and it's very true. Nobody chooses a life of loneliness, and a loving relationship which goes beyond the basics of sexual attraction is built on a desire to share our lives with another person. One of the most important things you can offer is companionship.

For a man to stay with you forever, you must become his trusted and most favorite companion; both his lover and his best friend, and his partner in crime! Keep his secrets, share his joys and pains, celebrate the good times and commiserate the worst. Walk beside him on his journey through life, side by side, every step of the way, and you'll become the person he can't replace - and the one thing he couldn't face life without.


Attraction that's purely based on the physical is hot and heavy in the beginning, but it also fizzles out quickly if there's nothing to back it up. If you're the best-looking woman in the world but there's nothing going on behind your eyes, you'll get a lot of lust but very little love.

If you and your man are going to be together for the long term, you're going to spend a lot of that time talking, and if you don't know much beyond the latest show on television, it's going to be a struggle. There's nothing sexier to a man than a smart, sassy, opinionated woman who's not afraid to speak her mind and back her opinion up with facts; and men love a good debate and a solid sparring partner to debate with! Know your stuff, take an interest in the world around you and have a passion for learning as you progress through life. He may love your body, but he'll also learn to respect your brain.


Keep it secret, but sometimes men say and do things wrong. They make mistakes, they choose the wrong option, and accidentally on purpose, sometimes they'll let you down. And when they've hurt you, or insulted you, or caused you upset, of course you're going to be angry with them and you have every right to be.

Because of that, it's important to know where to draw the line under an argument. When both sides have had their say and nothing's going to be gained by dragging it out, it's time to forgive and move on. If he's truly sorry, and there's no real harm done, then what a man really wants is forgiveness so you can both move back into a place of love and warmth. Don't sleep on arguments if you don't have to, and don't let little things drag on into the next day.


So, we just talked about how men crave your forgiveness when they've done you wrong, and you should know when to bring an argument to a close. This applies to you, too!

It can hurt your pride to admit you've made a mistake, or that you're wrong, and nobody likes to be the one to back down. But if we're honest with ourselves - not often, just every now and then - it's not his fault, it's yours, and you're the one who needs to make the apology. There's nothing more frustrating than a debate being dragged on forever when one person is clearly wrong and won't apologize for it, so don't let it be you. Be quick to accept your mistakes when they happen, hold your hands up, and make your apologies. He'll appreciate you for not making a bigger deal out of it and letting things turn sour.


Ever had one of those evenings where you go hungry for an hour because neither of you can make a decision on what you want to eat? Or sat down to watch a film but then never started one because neither of you can decide on what to watch? It's frustrating, isn't it? And it's not a great use of your time together either.

Sometimes, even though we know in our heads what we actually want, we stop short of saying it in case it's different to what he wants. But guess what? He's holding back from telling you what he wants for the exact same reason. You're at a standstill! If you know what you want - and we mean on a dinner plate, on television, or in life, speak your mind and encourage him to speak his. Some people end up moving into houses they hate because they were indecisive at the conversation stage - don't let that be you!


Here's a pro tip - men don't make decisions to settle down for the long term with people who aren't going to be around for the long term! Sure, younger men in particular seem to love party girls, but only for fun, not for commitment. You can't go steady with someone who wants to spend their life in the fast lane.

Look after your body. Don't smoke. Stay away from drugs. Drink in moderation and eat healthy food. Exercise and keep fit; make the choices that are going to lead to a longer, happier life. Don't work yourself into an early grave either - keep a healthy work/life balance. If you want a man to spend his whole life with you, make sure you have a whole life of your own to offer him in return.


Sometimes, neither of you is truly wrong, and neither of you is truly right. We all have our own opinions, and so long as they're reasonable, there's nothing wrong with having them. We shouldn't expect to get our own way all the time, and much as men love having a woman to treat as a Queen, they shouldn't have to serve her like a peasant!

There will be times when you just have to roll your eyes and meet him in the middle. This could be on tiny things on what to do on the weekend, or something as big as buying a house. If you're in it together, then you have to reach decisions you're both happy with, and sometimes that means you have to give in a little. He has to do it for you, too - it's a two-way street, but if you insist on holding out for your own way every time then why should he? Give a little, take a little, and learn to be happy in the middle.


Sometimes, he's just not ready. He might be able to give you the things you want to have, or do the things you want to do, but not right now. All of us go at our own pace and realize things at different times.

It might be obvious to you that it's time for him to ask his boss for a raise. It might be staring you in the face that something he's investing his time into isn't going to work out. But you can't drag him to that conclusion because he'll resent you for it. He's a grown adult, and he has to find things out the hard way sometimes. So, if he's frustrating you because he's not seeing the same path ahead that you do - or doesn't want to buy that house or book that holiday right now, put yourself in his shoes and try to work out why. Give him time and support, and if you're right, chances are he'll come around to your way of thinking.

Financial Sense

It's not so many years ago that society expected him to go to work and you to stay at home to raise the children. Thankfully, we've moved on from that, and you're every bit as capable of going out and earning the big bucks as he is. A real man should respect you for wanting to pay your own way in the world. But it's what you do with it that counts.

If you have goals and dreams as a couple, they're probably going to cost money. Your dream wedding isn't going to come cheap, for a start! Houses and cars and holidays can all be major investments that need contributions from both of you; so don't spend money frivolously. Double check that you really need something before you go out and spend big. Clubs and parties were great ways to blow cash when you were single, but should you be spending as much on them right now? If you're sensible with what you spend, you can achieve your financial goals faster. Oh, and expect the same from him, too.


Nothing speaks more about a person's character than their sense of right and wrong. It's what defines us as people and informs how we treat other people. Some people make their way through life as liars, manipulators and con artists, but who in their right mind would want to share their home with one?

If a man can see that you're compassionate, and caring, and truly have a concern for the wellbeing of other people, he'll consider it an attractive attribute. These are the qualities that a man will look for in the mother of his children. We're not telling you to start the path to sainthood or start doing charity work unless you really want to; just know what your moral boundaries are, have a strong sense of what's wrong and what's right, and don't cross those lines. Never be cruel, and never be cowardly.


You might think that courage is more of a masculine quality than something that's expected of women, but you'd be wrong. Bravery is unisex, and men will always have respect for a woman who's not afraid to stand up for herself. Courage helps you get what you want in life - including your dream man!

This is a good trait to have for yourself anyway; don't' be pushed around at work, don't let people take advantage of you, don't take an insult laying down, and keep your head up and push back at life when it's being hard on you. It's fine to be afraid - everybody is from time to time but courage is the art of being afraid and still doing what needs to be done anyway. Your man will respect, admire and cherish you for it.


A happy couple is one that laughs together. When people say laughter is the best medicine, they mean it literally. Laughing releases serotonin in your brain and lifts your mood. And it's infectious! It can bring an argument to a standstill, and it can dry tears and drive off sadness.

Life is too short to spend the whole time serious, and nobody wants to spend their days with a stone-faced spouse anyway, so take the time to sit back and laugh with him. That doesn't mean you have to laugh at his terrible jokes, just tell him a better one. Bask in the absurdity around you. The world is a strange, crazy and wonderful place and there's humor everywhere if you look for it. Don't be afraid to play the clown when he's down and know how to put a smile on his face when it falls off. Who doesn't love the person who makes them laugh the most?

Spice Up His Life

So we've accepted that both men and women enjoy sex, and that having more of it is good for your relationship. We hope you're on board with that. Now take it a step further; don't let him be the one who always gets things started.

You'll struggle to find a man who doesn't enjoy a sexy surprise, and if you do, you don't really want him anyway. So, take the opportunity to surprise him and blow his mind. Let him come home and find you naked. Use the kitchen table for something other than putting food on it. Get creative and play dress up. Ask him what his fantasies are - and every man has them, believe us - and act them out. And then let him have fun helping you act out your own!


You used all your best tricks to get him in the first place - you dressed to the nines, you flirted, you used all your charms and you behaved in a way designed to get his attention and drive him wild. And you did a great job! But that's when it's time to stop it.

Even if you're naturally the most flirty person in the world, and it's just how you speak to people, no man wants to see his woman flirting with other people - especially not his own friends. Be mindful that how you behave when you're single and how you behave in a relationship are two different things, and you can't carry on swapping cheeky texts and conversations with guys you used to speak to. Also, don't embarrass him needlessly in front of other people if he's done something wrong; if it can wait until you get home, then wait until you get home and have it out with him there.

Tell Them What's Wrong

You know that thing we all do? When something's upset or offended you, and your man says "What's wrong?" and you say "nothing" when something is very obviously wrong? They hate that. Oh, boy, do they hate that.

It's passive aggressive and it does neither of you any favors. If he genuinely doesn't know what he's done wrong, he can't take the steps to put it right. And eventually, he'll just stop asking if he knows he isn't going to get anywhere, and bad moods will last longer than they used to. So be honest and open with him, communicate with him, explain clearly why he's out of line, and maybe even what you expect him to do about it. He should listen to you and, even better, he'll know not to do it again!

Accept His Friends

Passing the 'friend test' can be difficult and intimidating. The first time you meet his friends, it can feel like all of them are looking at you and all of them are judging you. I'm afraid we have bad news for you - they are. But maybe not in the way you suspect of them.

As much as men can seem like overgrown children when they hang out together, they're actually a protective pack and they look out for each other just as much as women do. They want to know you're right for him, and you're not going to have a negative impact on his life. They were also around before you were, and they've known him longer. Men hate it when a woman comes between him and his friends, and sometimes the woman loses that fight if she turns it into one.

Keep On Dating

The first few months of the relationship - that golden honeymoon period - are likely to be the times when you go out most. You take each other to restaurant, you see movies together, go bowling, weekend breaks and all that comes with it. You work hard to impress each other.

When you settle down and realize that you've both bought into each other, it's too easy to get lazy and let this go. Life becomes an endless cycle of work, home, sleep, repeat. The time you spend together should be a break from the boredom of everyday life - it should never become part of it! Make the time every month for a date or two. Go away for the weekend, travel, find a new favorite restaurant. Get out of the house and break up the routine. It'll keep things fresh and give both of you something to look forward to.

Be Present In The Moment

Modern life is complicated. Chances are we spend all of our days at work staring at computer screens, and even when we're not, we've got smart phones, tablets, smart TVs and laptops. It can be exhausting trying to stay on top of all the technology.

When you're with your man, he wants to spend time with you and you alone. He doesn't want to share it with your Facebook friends, or your Instagram followers, or everybody on Twitter - just you. Sure, take some photos of you having a great time, but upload them later. Don't pause between causes in the restaurant to tag yourself in and tell everyone what a great time you're having - wait until you're home and tell them what a great time you had. Be there, in the moment, with him. And if he's a phone addict, make him put his away as well.

Your Style Advice

Shhh. This one's top secret. Much as they might make a show of kicking up a fuss, men actually like it when you give them fashion advice. In fact, some of them come to depend on it. Women tend to have way more experience of clothes shopping and fashion magazines than men do, and they know how to use it. If it was left to men, most of them would spend their entire lives in jeans and t-shirts or suits.

If you can make them look cooler, smarter or sexier, or just generally help them to dress in a style that suits them, they'll really appreciate it. On top of giving them a fresh wardrobe, it also tells them that you have an interest in making them look good, and that you want them to look their best.

Quiet Time

As a rule, men do less talking than women. They spend less time in conversation, they use fewer words, and they talk in shorter sentences. They're to the point. Men do not tend to ring up their guy friends just for a chat; they'll ring them for a specific purpose and keep things as brief as possible. They're just wired differently to women when it comes to that.

If you're talking to your man and he doesn't seem to be responding all that much, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's angry with you, or he's upset, or something's bothering him. He might just want some quiet time. There are occasions when nothing needs to be said, and no discussions need to be had, and there's no need to fill a silence with words that don't need to be there. So long as he's not being rude and ignoring you, let him be.


Because what else could we end this list with? It's the uppermost need of all human beings to be loved, and to have someone to love. It's the single most powerful, most rewarding and most risky thing we can ever receive or give, and every time we give it, we also give a little of ourselves along with it.

Men need you to love them like you wouldn't believe. You could tick off every other point on this list, but if you don't have love for him throughout all of it, he isn't going to feel it. Men absolutely know when someone's in love with them, and when actions come from a place of love. If you love him, embrace that feeling and let him know it every day of his life. Love without fear of loss and live without fear of love.



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