There has always been a big divide between parents and children. Even though they love each other, there's a constant clash between them that you just can't stop. I believe it was one of America's greatest philosophers who said, "parents just don't understand." That philosopher was one Will Smith. Or as I call him "Jiggy with it" Christ.
It's true that parents just don't understand, but there's a big asterisk next to that statement. Parents just don't understand *(OK, they do, but they just don't care). If you're going to defeat your enemy, then you must know your enemy. These parent's tactics prove that not only do they understand, but they're ready to outsmart too.
If you're a kid I would suggest that you don't show this to your parents, lest it gives them some ideas. If you're a parent, don't show this to your kids so they don't see what's coming to them. No matter who you are, you'll be surprised by quite a few of these, especially #19.
There's a weird dichotomy between siblings. On the one hand we want siblings to get along for obvious reasons. They have to live with each other for years anyway, and it makes for a peaceful household. On the other hand, siblings are never going to get along. By that I mean, yes there will be moments of love, but there will be just as many moments of pure hate and vitriol. It's a trade off that always balances out.
Still, even if siblings are going to fight, it's important to try to teach them peace. One extra large t-shirt from the gas station and some magic markers is a hell of a good price to pay for teaching your kids a lesson. Watch out though. There have been times where I've been so mad at my sister that I would have jumped off a cliff just to take her with me.
It's amazing what you can make people do for your wifi password. People will go to coffee shops, buy a pisswater coffee and a crusty old danish just so they can get the wifi password. It's like crack, especially for kids who have been raised on the internet. They don't even know how to play with a ball unless it had a touch screen on it. That's what makes this so genius. There's no way it wouldn't work.
The only problem here is that you have to change the wifi password every day. That's not too hard, but there are some parents who couldn't do pull this off. They are the type of parents who have to ask their kids to set up the tech in the house. Those parents are screwed. The kids will probably set up a secondary connection and never do chores for the rest of their lives.
I've got to be honest. For much of my life I had no concept of food costs. I think that's true for a lot of kids who don't have to pay for food. I'd eat the entire package of pizza rolls, not once thinking about the fact that they were supposed to last a week. The ignorance of a child makes it seem as though another bag of pizza rolls would just magically appear. In a way it did. It magically appeared because my parents bought a new one.
This kid got an early lesson in economics. You have to pay to play. That might be a little annoying when you're a kid and don't have much going on in terms of money, but something tells me that this kid was probably eating boat loads of cereal and needed to be stopped.
This note from the Tooth Fairy should serve as a savage reminder that you need to keep your room clean. I can't imagine how humiliated this kid must have felt knowing that a magical creature entered their room and was so disgusted by it that she couldn't help but be petty about it. I'd be traumatized if I were that kid. If your parent says your room is a filthy mess, you roll your eyes. If a fairy tells you that, you believe it.
This will come to bite the parents in the ass once the kid finds out that the tooth fairy isn't real. That's why you can't build these types of lessons off of lies. Once the first lie is destroyed, the whole foundation is destroyed. This kid won't keep their room clean for the rest of their lives knowing that there's no longer some judgemental fairy looking over their shoulder.
I need to take more photos like this with my dad. I already look like my dad when he was younger, and am quickly turning into him. It would be fun to see the process as it's happening. I'm turning into my dad so quickly that by the time I've 40 I'm going to look the way he looks now, which is 60. That's what constant smoking and drinking will do to you (not to mention all the fun).
It's all fun and games when your dad dresses like you as a joke. It's another thing when your dad is suffering from a divorce and starts dressing that way. "Where we going out tonight, son?" / "Nowhere, dad. Your eyes look bloodshot like you've either been crying or drinking all day." Even worse than all that? When your dad steals your girl.
This is a good dad. It's every father's job to take their mistakes and help guide their sons so they don't make the same ones. Let me tell you something strikingly obvious about this dad. This dad totally got caught looking at porn in the past. He knows the humiliation that it causes, so he's passing on the sage old advice of, "always go in incognito mode." This is a lucky kid. Many other dads would have sent their kid to Bible camp in response to this.
I had a similar situation happen to me, except it was the other way around. Once I started looking at pornography I knew that I needed to hide it. Here was my logic: if I have to go through such lengths to hide my paper porn, I should have to do the same thing with my digital porn. Let's just say that other people in my household weren't so good at covering their tracks.
I've used this tactic on people before, and they've used it on me. Everyone wants to ignore a text until it says something that benefits them. You can do it with a negative thing too, but that's much harder. Stick with the positive bait and switch. That'll get them every time. What I don't get is this kid's lack of empathy. They say, "that was cruel," but you know what's cruel? Ignoring your parent's text.
A horrible prank to play on your kid is telling them you're going to get them a car when you're really not. It's downright evil. But it's also really fun. If you're a parent with a teenager, have a friend park their car in front of your house and put a bow on it. See what happens.
You've heard "you can't have your cake and eat it too?" It's a stupid expression anyway, but this one is "you CAN have your cake and BEAT IT too. As in scram. Get lost. Sayonara. Later, gator." There comes a time when every kid needs to leave the house, but I've never heard the news get broken over a cake. After the kid moves out all they'll be able to eat is cake anyway (hot tip for broke people: cake is hella cheap and fills you up).
Some parents don't want their kids moving out though. My mom would have loved it if I lived with them for the rest of my life. I always tell her that I'm only one big mistake away from moving back in with them. She laughs at that, but it's startlingly true.
When you have an infant you have to do whatever you have to do to make it work. That kid is not on a respectable schedule, so eating and lying down are extreme luxuries. That is unless you use this method. If you have to hold your child anyway, you might as well make them useful. As long as you don't drop them then everything will be fine. Even if you do drop them there's no way of knowing if they were destined to be slow or if you caused it.
Some people say that having kids is the greatest joy in life. Others don't say anything and look tired all the time. You know what the difference between those two people is? One of them is rich and the other one is poor. If you're rich having kids is great.
Did you ever hear the story about the monkey's paw? The monkey's paw would give you five wishes, but the wishes were always messed up. Like if you wished for your dead father to come back, he would come back as a zombie. You had to word things really carefully or else. This is a total monkey's paw wish. "Mom, dad. I want cold hard cash for my birthday." / "You got it, son."
I'd ask how much money there was total then take it to Best Buy and get an X-Box with it. I'd just hand them the cold brick of cash. "Your problem now." That's how you use Judo on a prank. Judo is all about taking the energy coming at you and redirecting it. In this case you're redirecting the energy to the Best Buy employee.
Let's just make this clear to all parents. This type of shenanigan is not cute. No kid wants to be reminded of the truth about their conception. We all know the truth, but we don't need to stuff our faces with it, OK? This is just a bad way to spend your birthday. "What's this cake mean, mommy?" / "We're going to have a little chat, honey. I'll tell you all about it."
This is the type of cake you'd buy at a sexy cake shop. Hot tip for you: don't buy your kid's cake at a sexy bake shop. That could get you in trouble with a lot of the other parents if you end up having a birthday party for your kid. "What? Are you mad because your kid didn't get the balls? Sorry, but the birthday boy always gets the balls.
I never understood the whole "finish in a sock" thing when it came to you-know-what. A sock is something you have to clean and keep. A tissue paper is not. The logic just doesn't make sense to me. That just goes to show you how big of idiots men are. "My thing can fit in that thing. I guess that's where the thing goes." If you're reading this and you still use socks, please stop. It's not cute. It's not cool. It's just plain stupid.
This kid found out the hard way. I would NOT want to come home to find this. There's a lot of subtext in a note like that. It might as well say, "I know what you did. I have to clean it every time. You are not slick. You're gross." Even I'm blushing from this picture.
I was expecting a twist with this note. I thought it might say something like, "Use these water balloons to wash the car," or something lame like that. Nope. This mom is just awesome and thought, "why not have a water fight with my kid." More parents need to realize that this is the type of cool thing you can do with your kid. Unfortunately many adults think that since they got older they don't need to have fun anymore. Since when did being unhappy mean being mature?
I'd rather go against the water gun than the water balloons. A water balloon is like getting hit with a wet rock. A water gun is nothing. Give me some water balloons and I can do some serious damage to people. I'm talking bruises and black eyes.
Kids love video games. If you can make something seem like a video game, kids eat it up. This is the perfect example. When Pacman eats a cherry, he gets 200 extra points. If he eats a ghost, he gets 500 points. It all makes sense. I don't know why I'm using a video game that kids haven't played in decades, but who doesn't love Pacman? By applying points to chores, kids not only have goals, but they understand the importance of different tasks. Maybe if I use this on myself I will actually do my chores.
I'd be the kid who tries to calculate how to do the least amount of work for the most point value. I'd be done with all five hundred points within an hour. I was always a schemer like that.
As your parents get older, and in general as well, it's hard to see them as normal, fun loving people. Can you even imagine your parents twerking together at the club? Or can you imagine your parents doing it? Even if you don't want to think about your parents having sex, you're thinking about it right now, aren't you? That's the problem with even bringing it up. There are several problems, actually.
These two parents are doing exactly what a young couple would do on instagram. It's just weird seeing two grown adults do it. Seeing adults being silly is a disturbing thing. "Aren't you supposed to be dull and unhappy? I thought that was all of our fates. To grow old, dull and unhappy?" That's what I scream at old people whenever I see them acting young.
Back in the day before hard drives were abundant, tapes meant something. Now you can get one terabyte of space that's the size of your pinky finger. It wasn't easy dealing with tapes. Tapes cost money and didn't hold much data. We didn't even call it data back then. We called it "stuff." We were uncivilized back then. We've advanced a lot since those pre-dvr tdays.
Tapes were constantly getting taped over. Think about your hard drive. You've kept videos and then deleted them once you were sick of them. That's how it was. I just don't know how common it was for people to destroy their precious moments. If you're going to do it, at least hide the evidence. Redo the entire label or something. This poor kid is going to find that one day and realize the truth: he is unloved.
There's no use denying your truth. Too many people try to be someone they're not, or try to make their families something they're not, and everyone can see right through it. In this family's case, they fully owned their situation. If our daughter is going to be a stripper and our son a drug addict, we're sure as hell going to let the world know. Another fun fact about this family is that apparently the mom has a basketball hoop for a head. Isn't that what her head looks like?
It's really sad when you see one of these family car decals and one of the children is scratched out. That's always a bummer. I like to honk at those people to make them feel better, but I don't think it ever works. They only look confused and angry when I do that.
This would make for a bad way to find out your young child wasn't a virgin. Think about it. You think you're going to snap a really cute picture playing on the fact that your child is a virgin, but they hesitate and say, "well, dad, actually..." All of a sudden that road trip feels like it's a hundred hours longer than it felt like before. "Should we still take the picture?" / "No, dad. No."
At what point is it appropriate for parent to make fun of their child for being a virgin? There are more years where it's appropriate than years where it's not. I'd say age zero to eighteen are definitely off limits. Eighteen to twenty five is shaky ground, but after that it's fair game. Twenty five into the discernible future is a way longer time.
No child should have to endure the entire school day without eating. It's partly for their sake. Kids needs that energy to pay attention. Without it, they might as well be at home. Why be at school and put yourself at risk of being shot when you're not even going to retain any of that information anyway? The other reason why kids shouldn't have to endure an entire school day without eating is because they become little monsters and that's not fair to the teachers.
I've worked with children for years and they don't understand that when they are hungry or tired, they become monsters. Actually, many adults don't realize that either. If the world was properly fed and rested, we'd all be fine. If we were all high too.
That crib is taking up a lot of space for something that's just a gag. The construction of the crib looks nicer quality than their couches. That's my main issue with this. I find it funny, and I'd probably want something similar, but as someone living in a cramped apartment, I wouldn't need this in my life. I mean both the child and the crib. I don't need either of those things in my life.
I can't imagine this is good for a baby's psyche. It's not like a baby knows what a shark is, but aren't we imprinted with trauma and knowledge from our ancestors? Our ancestors knew what sharks were. This kid is going to think that sleep is the time for babies to be eaten by savage beasts. Kids have it hard enough.
This one is a little heart breaking. How long were they at Walmart to where the mom forgot that she took her kid there with her? You really have to be in the zone if you're going to forget your kid. Although there's one other possible reason. This kid might be a teenager. Teenagers are very forgettable. They are the sewer rats of society, always lurking in the shadows. As you can see, I don't have a high opinion of teenagers.
No one knows the horrific conclusion to this story where the mother didn't recognize her kid after she drove back. They go to the doctor and find out she has early stages of alzheimer's. I know that's a heartbreaking story to put on this funny image, but don't act like you weren't all thinking it.
This is one way to get your girls to stop wearing short shorts. It's kind of like jumping on a grenade though, isn't it? I mean, yeah, you're humiliating your daughters, but you're also humiliating yourself. This guy must be very comfortable in his own skin for him to be able to pull this off. I'm pretty confident and extra sometimes, but even I wouldn't wear short shorts out in public. Not with that outfit at least. Come on, dude. If you're going to wear the short shorts let's tone up those legs and wear a cute top too. This whole outfit is a huge miss if you ask me, and I'm no fashion expert.
I wonder if this dad got hit on and instantly regretted his choice. Someone taps him on the shoulder and says, "I still think they're cute."
Dogs are much better than children. Think about the stages of a child's life. They are horrible babies who cry all the time and are constantly in danger. Then they are toddlers and they can talk. All they talk about is dumb stuff, or they act awful to you. Then there's a short sweet period. Then they become teenagers. If you've had teenagers then you know that they are the cruelest demographic on the planet, especially to parents. After that they become adults and don't care about you.
Now let's think about a dog. A dog has a difficult time as a puppy, but still very cute. After that the dog constantly loves you. There's no evil teenager period. No wonder this dog took over every single spot in the family photo. The dog is the only family member worthy of that honor.
When it comes to punishments, I'm a big fan of giving a solid warning. After you give a warning you are given every right to go crazy on the person. Without a warning you can easily be turned into the bad guy. With a warning, you can always fall back on "I warned you." Without the warning, there is no meaning in the punishment. Make sure that you backup your warnings though. Nothing will destroy your credibility like failing to backup your warning.
This is one way to get your kids to stop throwing clothes on the floor. The only problem is that if this parent throws enough clothes on the floor, they'll end up having to buy the kid a whole new wardrobe. I'm sure there plan is to leave only the worst clothes, like the school uniform... from ten years ago.
If you're a hipster without any kids, a fun thing to do is to wear this shirt. You have to be a young hipster though. You can't be one of those forty year old hipsters who has a greying beard but still wears his The Kooks t-shirts and drinks PBR at the local dive bar. You're not fooling anyone. It's time to go shopping at Banana Republic and grow up. Just kidding. I'm totally THAT guy.
The thing is that this shirt really won't prevent anything from happening to your daughter. When your daughter and her boyfriend are out in the woods together, the last thing that boy is thinking about is what your shirt said. He's just thinking about the horrible things he's going to do to your daughter. A young man doesn't care about the repercussions.
I can barely let boys off the hook about this who haven't been warned once before. We talked about it already. If you can't understand that your excretions don't belong on a reusable towel, then I don't know what to tell you. Why would you want any evidence left over? It's because boys are disgusting idiots. Take this boy for example. He was already warned about this once. This is the second time they had to talk to him about it. It's not like there aren't tissues around. It makes me sad for the male species.
I'm sure that Justin Bieber towels and My Little Pony towels would be bad, but wouldn't making him have to hand clean his own towels be worse? That's what he should have to do. Make this kid clean up his own filth.
How tired do you have to be to where you can't cut an apple? I'm just saying, I don't think this parent was too tired at all. I think they were just sick of cutting their ungrateful kid's apple. That note took longer than it would take to cut an apple. Have you ever written on a napkin? It takes the patience of a saint. It's not like you can just quickly scribble your words down. All that evidence leads me to believe that this is this parent's way of saying, "your oppressive tyranny is over."
Honestly, kids and parents should make the lunch together. Make the kid learn about the hassles of life, like eating. Eating is a total hassle when someone isn't serving you the food. That's why I eat out so much that I'm broke.
If other teens are like me, they don't want to help with anything. I remember the many times my parents told me that we're painting the house. I couldn't understand why they kept saying "we." One, I didn't remember agreeing to paint anything. Two, why spend money on house paint? Let's buy an X-box instead. I'd say that's an accurate description of how most teenagers would react.
These parents were very smart. "If you don't want to help paint the house, then this is what we'll do." It's a genius plan that leaves the kid at a complete disadvantage. Kids at school will have an easy new nickname for this kid. You see, when you call someone a dork it usually isn't that impressive of an insult. If the person's room is painted to say "dork," then that's a pretty solid nickname.
Again, let me repeat this for any parents out there. It's not funny or cute to reference that you two had sex to create your child. Your child will hate it and it's mean. I don't mean to take away your sexuality or anything like that. Just hid it from your kid. Explain the birds and the bees, but don't throw the birds and the bees into their face, you know what I mean? Then again, when it's not happening to you it's pretty hilarious. Especially in the form of a "that's what she said" joke. Call them cringeworthy if you want, but when they hit, they hit.
The real problem with this card is the lack of money. I hope there was money in it and then put to the side to take the photo. Don't bother getting me a card with nothing in it unless you're using it to pour your soul out to me.
Even though it's very nice that this kid is reading a newspaper, I have some bad news for you. By the time that baby grows up, all the news will be ran by the Disney/Coca-Cola and be given through social media or an injection of some kind. I don't have a great hope for the future of news or media in general. The movie 'Idiocracy' had it right. We'll all be killed by our own idiocracy.
This is a smart move if you need a bathroom break but you have to watch your kid. It's good to build your kid's immunity system up early by making them suffer through your lethal dad-farts. That little girl caught right in the crossfire of the worst of it. Poor thing. Hopefully that newspaper can dampen some of the smells.
These parents are serious about curfew. You'd think you'd just give the kid a key if it was that much of a big deal for them to come home late, but a parent's ways are mysterious. By not giving their kid a key, they hold complete control. At the end of the day it's all about power. You have to show your kid that you have the power. "You may leave the castle... but you may never come back!"
As someone who has come home smelling like weed when I was a teen, this method is actually preferred. I'd rather not have to deal with stinking the whole house up by coming in after a late-night hot box. Plus if I'm already sleeping outside I can just toke up a bowl in the middle of the night.
Pulling off a prank this elaborate says something about the person who does the prank. For these parents to go through the whole process of making a fake letter, and then mailing it, borders on psychotic behavior. It's so elaborate that no one would ever suspect it as a prank. That's what's so good about it and horrible about it. I can only imagine how insecure this kid was about finishing their schooling. The parents played on that insecurity like it was a fiddle. A fiddle made of broken dreams.
If you want a prank that will surely fool someone, always go with a letter prank. It's easy to find letterheads that companies or schools use. Do a quick brainstorm and figure out with one of your friends or family members you can do this to.
You'd think that the one safe place that kids have away from their parents is the internet. You can log on to Facebook, make sure you aren't' friends with your parents, and have a blast. That's not the case when your parents are crafty and have found a way to get your password. Maybe they didn't even need to sneak around to find your password though. If you're under eighteen, your parents have every right to tell you that you can't have a Facebook without giving them the password. That's just parent law in action.
Here's one reason to know your kid's password - you can find out where they are by sending out a distress signal. Parents need to watch out though. You don't know what you'll find in the DMs. You might find a message that you're better off not reading.
One thing that's very annoying among teens or kids is when they try to stunt with money or possessions. It's one thing if I work hard and buy a Gucci headband and then show it off. That's something I worked for. I should be proud of it. That's some well deserved stunting. If you didn't do anything other than ask mommy and daddy for money, then you have no right to stunt. No one cares that you're parents are rich. Prove that you can make your own money and spend it, then we can talk.
This teen tried to stunt hard. In comes the parent with the one diss that says it all. "Did you get a job?" If not, shut the hell up. If you did, then great, you're paying for it yourself. You have every right to stunt.
There's a big problem with how we treat old people. We treat them like they're invisible, or non-human. It's kind of like that old couple showing off their butts. You don't expect older people to do that because we don't think they're like normal people anymore. I don't think I'm talking out of turn here. When's the last time you approached an old person and treated them the way you would one of your younger friends? My point is that you don't expect an old person to retaliate on your prank. Well, they totally will.
If anything, I think the old man's picture is better. He has a better expression and there's a sense of irony in the picture. We're used to seeing old people knocked out asleep getting made fun of. It's nice to see the tables turned.
I think there's a standard script of parental quotes that are used constantly. I'm talking about things like, "put on a sweater," "don't do drugs," and "clean your room." It's easy to block all that nonsense out because it's... well... nonsense. At least to a kid or a teen it's nonsense. Looking back it was all great advice, except for "don't do drugs." Those can be fun if taken in moderation, or with a bunch of babes.
This parent totally flipped the script and surprised us with this one. This is like a perfectly timed comedy skit. You set up typical "no" response after "no" response until the kid expects what you're going to say, then you hit them with the "why are you even going to the party?" line. It gets them every time. The bad thing is then the kid thinks it's OK to do all the things on that list.
Dads are funny. You can't argue otherwise. Dads have an entire joke genre that is named after them. The Dad Joke is often cringeworthy, but I'd argue that it's the best type of humor in the world. It can be applied during any situation. Dad Jokes are battle ready. They are always in a dad's holster, ready to fire. I can really appreciate that, even if some of them (most of them) are groaners.
The thing that makes a dad joke so good is that the person doesn't realize that they are setting themselves up for a joke. They are just living their lives then BLAM. Dad Joke. This dad's joke is an incredible burn. It's a bit of a self burn, but that's OK. If the son were to come back with a line about looking like his dad, I'm sure the dad has a dad joke block he could use.
Inspirational quotes are annoying most of the time. Especially when a younger person shares one. I get that a young person needs inspiration more than anyone. If a young person learns inspirational quotes at a young age, they can grow to be a better person when they're older. Still, I see a young person sharing an inspirational quote and I just want to say, "shut up. What do you know? You don't know anything. You're a baby."
In this picture we have a teen at their most vulnerable sharing an inspirational quote. That's when the dad comes in with the aforementioned Dad Joke. No one saw it coming, but like we've learned, the dad joke is always ready to strike. The only reason to have two children is so that you can make that joke.
This is a dad joke triple play. We've had two prior to this, now here's a picture with an onslaught of dad jokes. This person's dad must be horrible to text with. I know this for a fact because I'm basically the dad and my friends tell me that it's incredibly difficult to text with me because I respond to everything with a joke. A very unfunny joke (their words, not mine). I can't help it. I guess I'm just training for the day when I'm a dad and I can torment my wife and kids until they finally leave me one day.
Text messages are a great way to mess with people. Unlike normal conversations, you have an extra second to think of a joke response. You can also ignore inflection and intent when you're dealing over text message.
First off, why does this kid want a Tamagotchi? I guess they're making a comeback now, but you have to understand that I already went through the Tamagotchi phase twenty years ago. Yes, twenty years ago. I still have a Yoda Giga Pet (Giga Pet was another brand of virtual pet like Tamagotchi), and it's still complete in its package. I'm not about to buy a brand new one for thirty dollars in this day and age. No, thank you.
What a cute mom. I hope she actually meant it though. It would suck for weeks to pass and this kid to ask, "where's that Tamagotchi you said you were going to Tamagetme?" The parent would look at them with a blank stare and then finally realize, "oh, that. I only said that to make a joke. I had no intention of actually getting you one. Plus, you're adopted."
If you had to guess, I'm sure you'd guess that Tony Hawk is an extreme parent. If you're used to jumping high into the air on nothing but a plank of wood, parenting won't be so hard. "You're not going to listen to me? Well, then you're going for a ride down my mega ramp. I don't care if it'll break your neck." You think being grounded is horrible, think about being aired. That's when you get launched in the air until your punishment is over.
You know, I understand that it's good to find new, unique ways to punish your kids, but that's a lot of tape. Tony Hawk is going to take paint off his walls when that kid comes down. Not to mention the rash his kid is going to get from ripping all that tape off. Oh, well. They shouldn't have fought over videogames.
This could have ended poorly. I'm the type who freaks out when they are scared. Not the good type of freak out either. I mean that I freak out violently. Good thing this family didn't have a gun in the house. This girl might have shot her own mother, all for a prank. I'm not saying it's not funny, but I am saying that you shouldn't ever do this to me or else some violent things might happen.
I can't imagine how scared this girl must have been. Dealing with an intruder is anyone's nightmare, especially a woman. Women have much more to worry about when an intruder comes into the home. As far as pranks go, this one is an A+ for being so nasty, but also a huge F for being so nasty at the same time.
There are two types of parents. The type of parents who keep their child's room exactly the same after they leave for college. Then there are the type of parents who can't wait for the day when their child leaves for college so that they can finally have that home gym they've always wanted (and will grow to never use). Well, I guess there is this third type of parent who uses their child's former room as an office for their dog. They are a rare breed of parent, but apparently they are out there.
I would talk crap about how much of a waste of space this dog office is, but that dog looks to be working really hard. He's actually making something with his life, unlike you, Julio, with your worthless degree in creative writing. Sorry, I'm starting to sound like my parents.
Here's a little parenting tip. Your kid's lunches don't need to be anything spectacular as long as you leave a little note in the lunchbox and something sweet. As long as those two things are there, all is forgiven. A note can go a long way to making a kid feel good during the school day. I should know. I could have used a note in my lunchbox those many lonely days. I was getting bullied relentlessly. My friends would ask me, "why don't you talk to your mom about the people bullying you?" I'd look up at them through teary eyes and say, "because my mom is the bully."
This parent must have been upset with their child and decided not to make their sandwich with the love that they usually put into it. Wheat bread, mustard, mayonnaise, turkey, lettuce, tomato and love.
I can't believe that this family had the time to bake and design a cake that said this, yet never took the time to ask for the special friend's name. I hope that Alec ended up marrying this girl and that his family forever referred to her as 'Special Friend.' "Mom, Dad, her name is... I don't even remember what her real name is anymore..."
Imagine if the girl (aka Special Friend) would have broken up with Alec earlier that day and not shown up to the party. Alec would have to suffer through this cake. That's the thing is that you don't ever know what's really going on with people's lives. Baking a cake asking a teen about their relationship is a bad idea. Most teen relationships are shorter than the time it takes to bake a cake.
This kid was never going to get five million dollars. I don't know why he wasted his birthday wish on a gift he could never get. Of course he was going to get let down. It's like asking your parents to get you a suit of armor for your birthday. Your birthday will come around and you'll open up a miniature suit and armor and be disappointed as all hell. Ask for something reasonable, like a Playstation 4.
Now he's got a bunch of candy at least, though I'm not so sure that a One Hundred Grand is a favorite candy among teens. When's the last time you saw a gang of teens walking around chomping on One Hundred Grands? Never. Kids like candy that is sour or has "extreme" in the name. They don't want a classic like One Hundred Grand.
I understand the parent's worry here. You worry that you're going to give your kid a healthy snake, but at the end of the day they're going to eat something very unhealthy. That's a reasonable worry. Here's the thing though. No kid in their right mind is going to trade a delicious Cheeto for a carrot stick. I'm not knocking carrot sticks. I'll eat a carrot stick with the best of them. Give me some ranch and who knows, maybe I'll eat a whole bag to myself. Against a Cheeto though? Carrot stick is going to lose every time.
I was the kid who had a lunch comprised of a bag of cheetos and a Capri Sun. I was constantly hungry and low energy because of this. I don't blame my parents. I never complained about it. I just lived hungry.
I always feel bad for moms. Moms do a crap ton of work and get no credit for it. Hell, I even let this happen with my own mom. She does everything so thanklessly that I never think to thank her. Who would have thought? I feel bad though. Moms are always doing stuff to the point where kids just assume that the world cleans up for them. I'm totally down for this mom taking some of her freedom back. Extra points because she did it in a sassy way. I will always give points for doing something extra sassy.
This is a way better note than some of the others we've seen that have to do with masturbating. This kid got off easy. He could have seen this same note that said, "masturbate on me instead of your socks."
Can you imagine if this was true? They'd have to restrict Subway sales as a conservation effort. Think about all those people who don't eat the crust on their sandwiches. They'd be killing unicorns left and right. I hope this kid is young and impressionable because then this might really work. Unless they are young, impressionable, and also psychotic. There are plenty of psycho kids out there who are hurting animals as we speak. They'd kill to kill a unicorn.
Kids eating is one of the most frustrating things, especially if you go with them to a restaurant. "Let's take the kids out to eat. I love to waste money and food all at the same time." Seriously. They take one bite of their meal and they're done. It's awful. I'm bringing my kid food when I take him out to eat.
I'm not even sure what to say about this one. Is it a joke, or is it real? This mom can't really think that it's a good idea to poke a hole in a condom. Even if she's kidding, what if the kid doesn't realize that it's a joke. He's still going to use that condom. If this mom doesn't realize that poking a hole in a condom could lead to horrific results, then she's in for a big surprise. Her son is in for a big surprise too.
Let's say there wasn't a hole in that condom. I still don't think I'd want to use that condom. Here's why. As I put it no and entered my girlfriend, all I'd be able to think about was my mother. That's actually true no matter what form of protection I use.