15 Mean Texts From Exes That'll Make You Fall To The Floor

Humor | By Cole Damon | November 1, 2017

Some people just refuse to move on even after a tearful breakup. They'll text you before sleeping, after waking up from bed, at work and basically every fleeting second that passes by. But you've moved on to greener pastures and simply don't want their name popping up every now and then on your phone - but these 15 pictures show exactly how to shut down your ex for good.

Auto response from disgruntled ex

He waited 6 months for her. That's an entire lifetime of torture, pain and misery in the hopes that she'll somehow get back to him. That moment never came... until now that is. Now that he's moved on. His response? Pretend to be a robot.

Expression of true feelings

It seems men have a gross misunderstanding that make up sex is going to fix the underlying issue with their relationship. It's not that simple guys, try something better than just luring her to sleep with you. Maybe apologize?

Booty call after 3 weeks

Guy apparently thinks his ex is a free booty call he can always hook up with when he's having the blues. He wants to feel 'warm' by cuddling with her. The only kind of warmth she wants to give him is by dousing him on fire.

Was she speaking in tongues?

She gives him a glimmer of hope by texting him, "I want to do bad things to you". Of course he chalks it up to an intense session of 'make up' sex. Too bad what she really means is to murder his entire family.

He still thinks about her in ways

How can this woman who's clearly not interested in him respond to his disrespectful booty call? Coat his lewd text message with a different dress. Her middle finger gets a mind of its own when she things about him.

She's done being fat

Your life can become a million times better with a slice of pizza every now and then. But constantly eating it comes at a price. In much the same way entertaining her ex is going to come at a price.

He is a deranged individual with bipolar disorder

On the one hand he expresses how much he hates her. And a fleeting second later he announces his desire to eat chipotle with her naked. "Go choke on a burrito you t***" is the ex's rather befitting response to this disturbed individual isn't it?

The most important message in the world

This man wanted to let his ex know a rather concerning health affliction. He just contracted aids and wanted to warn her that she could have it too. This funny guy however decides to get in the way and finds out the hard way that he too might be at risk.

Dealing with a smart ex

This ex wanted to inflict some more damage to her unhealed heart. So he pretends to send an apologetic text to a different ex. But she manages to shoot him down just in the nick of time by reminding him that it's the wrong ex, "a***ole".

Is this ex happy or just angry?

Spending all those hours away from his better half finally took its toll on him and he sent her a simple text message, "I miss you". Her only response is to express a fit of uncontrollable laughter, ending with a simple note, 'bye'.

April fool's message

She gets his hopes up by texting him about getting back together. As is typical of lonely men, he responds with profound enthusiasm about renewing their relationship. Too bad she was just fooling him on April Fool's day.

Give me back my stuff

He's not really after his stuff. He just wants to see her once more and is using his 'stuff' as an excuse to setup another meeting and hopefully patch things up with her. She stole that glimmer of hope from him by burning his stuff.

Best punch line ever

Guy admits he cheated on his girlfriend and wants to get back with her. He tries to smooth talk with her, praising her beauty and remarking how she takes away his breath. Well she also runs out of breath on account of him.

She doesn't have any f***s to give

Another case of a two timing boyfriend trying to patch things up with his broken girlfriend. Too little too late pal, she has moved on and no longer gives two cents about your self inflicted emotional wound. Don't cheat on your partner next time.

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