15 Disgusting Firsts That Happen In Every Relationship


Lifestyle | By Cole Damon | October 26, 2017

No matter how much you love someone, the first-times of every relationship are always a little embarrassing. You're yourself but are you really yourself? To be yourself completely means opening up to some of the most brutally natural things about you and you really don't know whether your partner would like that! However, there comes a point where you have to unleash your inner demon and show your significant other just what they've gotten themselves into.

Navigating through the land of love

Ah love! So pure, so magical, so...gross? Movies depict the kind of love that only revolves around fairytales and butterflies. opening up to your true human actions can be quite embarrassing at first especially since you're both still trying to understand your compatibility.

Building the comfort

Well it's not so much about the comfort as it is about the trust. Again, you're still getting to know whether the person is a psychopathic killer or the one that will keep you happy for the rest of your life. Either way, you really want to build that trust first.

Fearing the unknown

There's also the fact that you're not really fully aware of what's to come so you end up fearing the unknown. A new relationship is like an unknown land, you're scared of what lays ahead so you do everything in your power to make things run smooth.

Reaching the point

And alas, as slowly as it begins, soon you'll reach the point where you're finally comfortable with each other. This is when you reach this point in the relation where you actually feel like you can finally walk out of your "perfect" demeanor and show your SO how human you are!

The gradual increase

The comfort level always begins at a very gradual pace. You wouldn't even know what's going on but you've finally reached the point where your SO seems more human to you as opposed to a ball of heavenly beauty they looked like when you first started dating.

You're finally there!

You've finally reached that point of comfort where you can insult each other but you don't get offended because...well...it's only love! That still wouldn't disregard how awkward certain first timers would still feel. Here are a few you'll come across.

First timers #1: Messy eaters

You know how you want to eat an ice cream but you're a messy eater so you pretend you don't like ice cream while on the inside you're screaming, "Goddammit! Give me the damn ice cream!!" Yeah, you'll always reach that point where being a messy eater is something you'll both enjoy.

First timers #2: Look who can burp!

You know what the best feeling is? Being able to burp whenever you feel like it. Seriously, holding back a really good burp just because your SO is around could easily be one of the most disappointing things to face. Those who burp together, stay together!

First timers #3: The first poo

So till today, you've been the perfect saint who doesn't do anything disgusting like fart or poo. However, you are human after all and that means you have the right to relieve yourself of the waste building inside of you. Think of what'll happen when you move in together!

First timers #4: Opening the doors to gross sex

Sex is great, who doesn't enjoy it? But every couple reaches the point where their experiments turn a little bit towards the gross side. Yours will too and that first is going to be pretty awkward! Don't worry, as long as you're showing your SO a good time, you'll work out.

First timers #5: Forget the poo, start with the fart!

Taking the first dump is jumping the gun a little, you need to begin by a simple fart first. Pretend you didn't mean it and act all embarrassed because chances are, your SO is going to take it as a joke. If not, well, they'll have to leave with it!

First timers #6: Updating them about your toilet adventures

Well now that you've burped and farted and pooed, you're pretty comfortable talking about how great of a time you had in your toilet. It's a little awkward at first but once you start, it's very difficult to stop especially since your SO encourages you. Now that's a good SO!

First timers #7: Squeaky clean

You know it's true love when they decided not to leave you to clean up your own mess. Hey, love can get tricky and it's important to be there with them especially through the messy times. It's a silent vow of "for better or for worse"!

First timers #8: Toilet lovin'

See how many times there's been a mention of the toilet? That's how magical the toilet is and even though it may be awkward, the biggest milestone of every relationship is seeing each other on the toilet. That's just a mention of how you two are meant to be together.

First timers #9: Squeeze that zit (bonus points if it's in a ~hard to reach~ place)!

Zits are gross but zits on your SO are something that you definitely have to burst! If your SO has a zit on a -hard to reach- place and you're adamant on popping it then that's definitely true love. After all, if you're willing to pop a zit then you're willing to do anything!

Did You Know...

I

To insure one’s house, one’s car or to underwrite a life insurance policy, that is common practice. But who would pay an insurance premium for his/her thumb, legs or smile? Stars, of course.

II

At the top of the ranking are the legs of Mariah Carey, worth 810 million USD: The diva became, in 2006, the Gillette brand muse for the advertising campaign «Legs of a Goddess». She then took out an insurance policy with London Lloyds to protect her legs, a decision that is far from being insignificant. Among its customers, the London insurer then included several icons of music, such as Bob Dylan or Rod Stewart.

III

David Beckham’s body insured for 195 million USD: European champion with Manchester United in 1999, David Beckham was in 2006 the most renowned footballer of the planet. In relation to his sporting activities, he took out an insurance cover for his legs. The huge amount paid for his insurance would reportedly exceed the 103 million USD disbursed by Real Madrid for the cover of Christiano Ronaldo in 2009. The fashion model would later extend his insurance cover to his entire body.

IV

15 million USD in insurance for Kim Kardashian’s curves: The curves of Kim Kardashian are her number one beauty asset. The reality TV star, who is crazy about plastic surgery, has underwritten an insurance policy worth 15 million USD to protect her famous butt.

V

The culinary critic Egon Ronay assured his taste buds: The famous Hungarian culinary critic has insured his taste buds since 1957, for the amount of 400 000 USD. An original insurance policy which allows him to cover his sense of taste without which he will no longer be able to practice his job.


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