Is Europe Better Than the US? Check Out the Results!

Humor | By Ian Anglin | October 18, 2017

This is a very controversial topic, and some of you may get offended - but that is understandable. Everyone loves their country, and the same goes for the continents. Some people believe that North America is better than the European Union, while others think the opposite. I'm going to try and be as objective as possible while writing this article, so perhaps you'll like the results that follow. Check them out:

Total Caloric Intake

Damn, the first challenge between Europe and America appears to be quite easy to judge. Um, what wins - high-carb, high-fat fast-food or having family dinners and wine? Obviously, Europe is going to take the lead on this one.


The continents have different kinds of dog breeds. Just look at the picture above, and how different the English and American bulldog appears to look like. Both have their pros and cons, and I think it would be fair to judge this one as a draw.

Total Amount of Body Hair

I'm not sure if this is entirely true, but Europeans are typically portrayed in the movies as having more body hair than the Americans. I guess this is true, people in Europe are not so self-conscious, and don't really care if someone doesn't like them.

Who Are the Better Trolls?

/v/ is one of the bigger forums on the iconic 4Chan website. I do agree with the picture on this one - Americans simply have a far more developed trolling culture than the upright, and always "logical" European posters. We'll see if this changes in the future.

Celebrity Differences

This one is also a generalization, but on the other hand - these types of challenges are always based on stereotyping people. Otherwise, they wouldn't be possible to do. Anyway, Europeans clearly win on this front - with a large margin I might add.

Teeth Whiteness

Americans are simply fanatic about having white teeth - there are commercials regarding this on a daily basis, and many companies have grown to become multi-billion dollar businesses because of the amount of money Americans spend on teeth whitening.

Overall Fitness

This one is a bit of a joke for all the guys out there - I mean why argue, when each country and continent has its fair share of young, fit girls? Statistics is a magical thing, once you come to understand it and utilize it in your daily life.

Laziness Comparison

Europeans take cardio VERY seriously - like see that girl above, she is having an actual cardio session while taking the baby out for a stroll. Americans, on the other hand, love to "invest" money in anything that makes their life more comfortable.

Train Transport

Americans are more into cars, pickups and airplane travel, so they clearly lose to the Europeans. Few people know that Europe is heavily based on sea and train travel - this kind of transportation is one of the economic foundations of the old continent.


Europe has its ban on assault rifles, and America has its own battle against the ever increases levels of obesity. Which one is more important is a very subjective thing, and I believe it to be outside the scope of this article.


I don't think the above image is entirely correct. Sure, the Spaniards have their bullfighters, but America is the winner of WWII and is currently the country that is fighting the most amount of wars. This is both good and bad, but it speaks volumes about American bravery.

A Quick History Lesson

Yeah, this is a well-known fact - while Europe colonized most of the world and brought prosperity to countless millions, most Americans today can't locate Russia on the map. There are exceptions everywhere, and I sure hope you are one of them.


European politics have always been extreme (except for the past 70 years). The guys over there have invented Communism, National Socialism, as well as all the Monarchies and Kingdoms. Americans like their Founding Father, and the good old' Constitution.


The sporting differences between the two continents are simply HUGE. For some reason, Australia was put on the same list as Europe - perhaps sporting-wise they are quite similar. Anyway, European players and fans are far more dedicated to their teams - or so it seems.

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