15 Signs Your Partner Is Using You As The 'Back-Up Plan'

Entertainment | By Ray Porter | January 8, 2018

It seems to be a consistent fact that individuals are perplexing and that we perpetually alter our opinions about what it is we need and/or want. We also seem to mislead ourselves, convincing ourselves that the end positive result will be all worth it in order to feel better about specific things that are disappointing or annoying us. This is evidenced when relationships start to break down. There may be all the signs that you aren't actually that important to a partner may be there, you convince yourself that it's not true and there's no problem until it all comes crashing down.

Trust Yourself

And look for these signs. Being treated as a kind of backup plan instead of a priority will never sit easy. If you notice the following signs in your relationship, then that uneasy feeling you have in your stomach is justified.


Interest is super important in a good relationship. As humans, we are interested in the things we like, love, and value. We are often less interested in the things we are simply using, or are keeping around in case of emergency so to speak.


Interest tends to manifest in a relationship in the form of invested time and attention. If your partner doesn't ask about your life, family, career, health, or the things important to you, it's not looking good. If they really cared for you, they would show interest in you.

Time Spent Together

Relationships have changed a lot through the ages. It used to be a time where partners would send all their time when the man was not working together. In modern times that's not the case. Both young and old couples tend to maintain friendships and interests away from their partners, but don't be tricked by this.


The easiest way to tell when it's really avoidance is listening to your instincts. If they make excuse and give explanations as to why the two of you can't be together a little too often, and it feels like they are using friends, study or work as a reason to avoid you, then this a red flag that you've been put to the side in the warmer in case you're needed later instead of being the main event.

Not Going Out

You may have gone out together in the past for dinner, movies, or anything else but nowadays it just doesn't seem to happen. There's always a reason for you to meet at their or your place and somehow you two never make it out the door later.

It's All About Compromise

This is great relationship advice. For any healthy human relationship, there needs to be a level of compromise coming from both parties. It becomes a problem when that compromise is completely one-sided. If it's always you who makes all the sacrifices for the relationship this is a sign to look out for.

No Lasting Change

When you finally realise, accept and communicate how unhappy you are to your partner nothing seems to change. Or if they do change, they quickly relapse to their old ways. They may able to turn the charm on with you for a while, but if things don't improve in the long term it's a signal.

Communicating to a Wall

Social media and technology are a part of every part of modern day life. Relationships are no exception. How a partner acts on social media can tell you a lot about the relationships. If calls aren't being answered and texts, messages, and emails and being responded to it's a clear indication that their priorities are elsewhere.

Honesty is Key

Lying is a big issue in relationships, and it can even show that you are not a priority and, rather, just an option. Even if the lies are small and turn out to be insignificant, it shows their willingness to lie to you and in addition, they are hiding their motives from you.

Never Making Plans

If your partner never makes any plans with you in advance this could be an issue. Even if they are a spontaneous person they should understand the importance of plans in a relationship and make an effort. You must also remember that there is a difference between spontaneity and a lack of care.

They Push You Further Down

They tend to make you feel even worse about yourself than you already do. A partner in a healthy relationship is invested in you and wants to see you happy and smiling, achieving your goals. If you are sad, depressed, or not in a good head space and have a toxic partner you should get rid of hem ASAP.

Bored Around You

They seem to be bored and disconnected when they are around you, and you get the feeling that it's like a chore for them to spend time with you. They may have even strait up said to you that they have better things to do than spend time with you.

You're Not the Only One

Often in these situations, you are not the only person that they are dating, and these guys often have the nerve to tell you that as if it justifies the neglectful way they treat you. They have multiple girls 'on the burner' while they are chasing some trophy girl.

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