15 Secrets That You Must Know About Your New Lover


Lifestyle | By Ian Anglin | December 25, 2017

The beginning of a new relationship is an important and happy time for anyone. Although you might feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see your new partner, it is important to not lose sight of the biggest picture. You are still dating a new person, and with that comes new risks that you should take steps to protect yourself. For starters, you need to know about the past relationships of your new lover, as that way you can see what type of person he or she is.

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About Their Past Relationships

When you start dating a new person, there are many important things you need to figure out. One of the most important ones in this regard is about their past relationships. Try to find out if they have abused or if they were abusing other people in the past.

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Current and Past Addictions

Another important thing that you need to do when you meet someone new is to notice if the yare harboring any kind of addictions. This isn't just about drugs or alcohol - even excessive video games can be a problem for some people.

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Financial Stability

You need to also figure out what kind of financial stability the person you dating has. The reason for this is that they have money problems or are spending more money than they have, that could put a drain on your finances in the future.

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Problems with the In-laws

Another common problem some people have is in dealing with the in-laws. While this doesn't have to be a deal breaker for you, you do need to know about any potential future problems and to decide whether you accept being in that kind of a relationship.

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STD History

While most people don't have any of the more dangerous or untreatable STDs, it is important to talk to your partner regarding this. Be upfront and ask them directly whether they currently have or had STDs in the past.

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Friendships with Ex-Lovers

Another common problem some people have, is their new lovers try to keep their friendships with ex-lovers. Everyone that has any experience with dating knows that being friends with an ex is completely impossible, and can only bring problems in the long-term.

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Sexual Satisfaction and Intimacy

Another thing that you need to decide for yourself is the amount of sexual satisfaction you need out of a relationship. After that, you need to see whether your new lover is up to the task of bringing you the enjoyment you need.

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Past Criminal Records

You don't need to run background checks on all the people you meet, but it is important to know whether a partner has a criminal record, as that can prove problematic for certain types of employment in the future of your relationship.

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Hidden Feelings with Other People

It is normal for some people to bring on some amount of "baggage' into a new relationship. What you need to do is determine whether the baggage your loves is bringing is too much for you. If it is, you might need to talk things through.

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Sexual History

A partner's sexual history is not something that you must know, although knowing it can definitely help you out in the future. The reason why it helps is that knowing someone's sexual history can give you a better picture of what type of person they are.

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Debt Problems

Knowing about any debt problems is a matter for more serious, long-term couples, as debt is not something people discuss on their first date. In any case, you should know about any kind of debt problems your partner has, especially after a few months of dating.

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Not Making an Effort

If you notice that your partner is not making the same kind of effort regarding your relationship (or keeping their health and body fit), then that is definitely a thing you should talk through with them. The more frustrated you are, the worse things can get in the relationship.

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Ask About Fertility Issues

If you are in a serious relationship, and there are talks about marriage and/or having kids, then you do need to know about your lover's fertility. If he or she has any issues, they need to be upfront with you about that matter.

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Depression Issues

If you notice that your lover is depressed or shows some symptoms of depression, you could perhaps have a talk with them about that. The reason you should talk with them is not to make things difficult, but to try to help them get better.

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Family Secrets

Due to the number of divorces and abuse these days, many families seem to harbor large secrets, If you are planning on staying with someone for a long time, you should ask them if their family has some deep, dark, secret that you should know about.

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