The Secrets Of Iron Crotch Fu Revealed


Science | By Antwan Moss | April 17, 2021

The Secrets Of Iron Crotch Fu Revealed

Not to mention that it can help you to gain confidence that can be applied to other areas of your life! But which martial art is best? You will be somewhat familiar with karate, or jiu jitsu, or tae kwan do, or even the Israeli-originating stylings of krav maga.

But if those disciplines are lacking something you really are looking for- something like, specifically, getting hit in the crotch many, many times on purpose, and who’s not into that? Well then, you could be in the market for lessons in the very real, very wisely conceived Iron Crotch Fu.

Origins Of A Very Smart Martial Art

In the village known as Juntun, located on the outskirts of the ancient city of Luoyang, they practice a most singular style of martial art, long kept secret from outsiders- not because, naturally, they were embarrassed in any way, or ashamed, but because it is too good, and they don’t want such a deadly art to fall in the wrong hands.

While many martial arts are hard to grasp at first, and require a lot of both explanation and training, much of the appeal in Iron Crotch Fu lays in the fact that it is exactly what it sounds like, and can be executed at a high level very quickly because it revolves entirely around deliberately getting hit in the body’s most vulnerable spots over and over again. Step 2, question mark? Step three, profit.

Inexplicably Losing Popularity

For some unfathomable reason, the appeal of a martial art built around getting hit in the crotch, the throat, and other areas that hurt very much, on purpose, which is kept secret by the small town of its practitioners, is becoming less popular

Once, some 200 practiced the fine art of iron crotch fu, but that has fallen to 20, just 5 of whom still can execute the iron crotch move itself. And if iron crotch fu master Wang Liutai is to be believed, the discipline neither hurts, nor has any impact on the fertility rates of its practitioners, so it is in no way the case that iron crotch fu masters are failing to grow the sport because their reproductive organs are too destroyed to father children to whom they can pass it on.

Why not you?

Now that you are for sure in great anguish over the remoteness of the one place where iron crotch fu can be learned and of its deliberate exclusion of outsiders making it unrealistic to learn, it gives great pleasure to relate the amazing news that the masters of iron crotch fu are ready to reveal the secrets of their art for the first time in order to keep alive this great martial art of masochistic groin blows whose absence from the earth would be a tragedy.

So come to Juntun! Get hit below the belt! And enjoy the respect and admiration of a decreasing portion of a small town in a very faraway land. And if you can’t afford to go, just try to do the splits, it’ll have about the same effect for free.

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