3 Mental Habits That Are Sabotaging Your Dating Life

Lifestyle | By Angelica Osborn | June 25, 2018

All people are creatures of habit, which can be seen as both a positive and a negative thing. While everyone tries to cultivate positive habits (such as going to the gym, eating in a healthy manner, and not indulging in any addictions), there are many other habits which can be absolutely detrimental when it comes to our dating lives. For example, a person who wants instant gratification can appear as needy, and thus repel partners who would otherwise date them.

Assuming that Everything Happens Instantly

If you are big on daydreaming and fantasizing about where your relationship is going to take you next, you should be warned that you can sabotage your love life by hoping that the relationship is going to be good instantaneously. One of the reasons why doing this can be bad for you and your partner is that thinking in this manner can make you needy, and eventually push away the person you are dating. In order to make a relationship work, you have to let things flow naturally.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, as well as its own milestones. Sometimes things can move drastically fast, while other times you could spend a year or more thinking about it happening, and wondering where life is taking you. That is why your imagination is a very powerful thing and you should learn to use it for the best possible outcomes.

Not Believing You Can Fulfil Your Wants and Needs

One of the main reasons we date and have relationships is so that we can truly fulfill our wants and needs. You shouldn't stay in a relationship that doesn't satisfy your emotional and physical needs, but this isn't as easy to do as it sounds. The point being is that you need to always strive to get an optimal balance between giving and getting in a relationship. This takes a lot of practice, and is one of the main reasons why people break up more often when they are young.

In order to be truly happy, you need to date someone who can take care of your needs, and be willing to compromise when that is called for. You should never settle for any less, as relationships like that will only bring problems in the long run.

Thinking You Won't Be Happy If You Don't Get What You Want

While the previous paragraph was all about learning to get what you need out of a relationship, this one may sound a little bit paradoxical - but that shouldn't confuse you. The truth is, a relationship can't work like an ATM for your happiness - while you should never settle for anything less than what you have imagined, you still need to keep the other person in mind. Understand that there are certain limits to what a person can give in a relationship without feeling uncomfortable.

An often-cited example is how to handle entering a committed relationship. While you may be ready to enter such a relationship, the person you are seeing may not yet be ready. This is a situation in which you can practice and experiment with learning how to strike the right balance between yours and the other person's happiness.



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