28. Call Child Services

28. Call Child Services

I get it. Parents are extremely busy. They've got a million things going on. My heart goes out to you, but if I ever see your baby in this I will call child protective services. There's no amount of lazy that you need to be that your baby needs to crawl around your dirty floor and get covered in dirty-floor material. If your floor is so dirty that it needs the help of your baby to mop it, maybe you need to clean it before your baby even gets down there.

Cut to ten years later when I have a litter of eight babies crawling around my kitchen cleaning up my spilled pizza sauce and copious amounts of tears. Why tears? I have eight children and am obviously a single father. What woman would stay with me?

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Did You Know...

I

Over the years, weve seen so many food trends come and go, such as ramen burgers, matcha, and spiked ice-cream. Nowadays, were seeing another trend making waves in the food industry. How many times today have you seen an Instagram photo of a scoop of black ice cream, or a cup of black yogurt, or hamburgers with black buns? Indeed, the charcoal trend has taken the world by storm.

II

So, what gives your latte that deep black shade? Activated charcoal, or coconut ash, is produced by heating coconut shells to insanely high temperatures until theyre burnt to a crisp. The ashes are then increased in size by steaming at high temperatures. Through this process, the ashes become a strong detoxifier, mostly because they become extra absorbent. This product may be purchased in pill form, and promises to alleviate hangovers, minimize the effects of food poisoning, and fight the visible signs of aging.

III

Activated charcoal is said to boost ones energy as a result of decreasing toxins in the body. However, no evidence proves that detoxifying can lead to increased energy. Also, while it can help cure a hangover, it doesnt necessarily remove alcohol from your blood. It is also said to aid in debloating your stomach because it cleanses your colon but again, this all anecdotal and isnt supported by scientific evidence as of yet. All we can say for sure is that it is a proven detoxifier.

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