29. Forget-me-not Kid Mittens

COMMERCIAL: Brought to you by mothers who have issues with letting go, we introduce you Forget-me-not Kid Mittens. Do you fear your kid might leave your side one day? Do you want them to grow up with mommy issues? Then get your pair of Forget-me-not Kid Mittens. Your kid isn't going anywhere, not while you have anything to do with it.

That commercial would be very accurate, you have to admit. I mean, you remember those kid-leashes, right? The same arguments were made about those. At least with those you had your hands free so you could slap a bitch if you needed to. You could slap your kid too. In this case it would look like they hit themselves. That could be useful for legal reasons. "I'm sorry, Judge, but the child kept hitting himself."

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