25. "I never got my package."

25. "I never got my package."

This is just asking for someone to come steal those packages. It's one thing when you have to scramble for boxes, but when everything is in a neat little bag like that, why wouldn't you just grab it and run? Common decency? Well some of us don't have that! Unfortunately this mailman most likely didn't have any other options. Send all complaints to Amazon, not the post office.

Luckily I don't have the problem of people stealing my packages. It's far too inconvenient for anyone to get to my front door, plus I hire armed guards to stay at the door at all times. Everyone says it's a waste of money, but they're forced to talk to me while they're working, so it's kind of like having bodyguards and friends. You can't beat that deal. It's a two for one special.

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Did You Know...

I

Over the years, weve seen so many food trends come and go, such as ramen burgers, matcha, and spiked ice-cream. Nowadays, were seeing another trend making waves in the food industry. How many times today have you seen an Instagram photo of a scoop of black ice cream, or a cup of black yogurt, or hamburgers with black buns? Indeed, the charcoal trend has taken the world by storm.

II

So, what gives your latte that deep black shade? Activated charcoal, or coconut ash, is produced by heating coconut shells to insanely high temperatures until theyre burnt to a crisp. The ashes are then increased in size by steaming at high temperatures. Through this process, the ashes become a strong detoxifier, mostly because they become extra absorbent. This product may be purchased in pill form, and promises to alleviate hangovers, minimize the effects of food poisoning, and fight the visible signs of aging.

III

Activated charcoal is said to boost ones energy as a result of decreasing toxins in the body. However, no evidence proves that detoxifying can lead to increased energy. Also, while it can help cure a hangover, it doesnt necessarily remove alcohol from your blood. It is also said to aid in debloating your stomach because it cleanses your colon but again, this all anecdotal and isnt supported by scientific evidence as of yet. All we can say for sure is that it is a proven detoxifier.

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