We get it. You really love pizza. We all really love pizza. I love it so much that I've cried over it before. I dropped a whole pie once and it sent me into a tailspin. I love pizza so much that I can totally understand locking it up so no one else can get it. My plan would be a little different though. One, I wouldn't put the lock through the pizza. That's nasty and it harms the pizza. Two, I would leave it in the box. Those are two musts.
But none of this brings up the real question we all have: if you cared about the pizza so much, why'd you leave it on the ground? This is what happens when you get drunk people who are just a little too smart for their own good. They end up concocting really smart dumb ideas. You shouldn't be able to describe something as a smart dumb idea, but this is what one looks like, folks.