'Beauty and the Beast' is a story that teaches us that love can conquer all. It's also about a woman falling in love with a literal beast. Can you imagine what he really looks like in real life form? I know Belle looks banging in real life. You don't have to convince me of that. I've seen the girls who play her at Disneyland. Beast would look and smell horrible though. Just imagine what his man-parts would look like. It would look like a dog's red rocket. If he's anything like my dog, he won't be able to control when it comes out either.
Enough about the ugly part of the story. 'Beauty and the Beast' made me want to talk to my appliances and houseware. Sure, they never talked back, but that didn't stop my parents from putting me with a child therapist.