15 Embarrassing and Funny Drunk Text Messages That Will Make You Fall Off Your Chair

Ray Porter October 2nd 2017 Humor
We've all sent messages that we are not very proud of the next day. Alcohol can make us do some stupid, crazy things and text messages serve as living proof of them. Whether you've sent the occasional drunk text yourself, or been on the receiving end of some silly, nonsensical messages, you're sure to love the list that we've rounded up here of the best drunken examples from around the internet.
Spoiler: she is
There's no telling what the previous message looked like, but this is a classic example of a series of drunk selfies. We're all guilty of sending or receiving these at some point or another and they're pretty funny from the outside looking in.
Every Night Ever
This happens basically every time alcohol is involved in something. The night's high point ends in a day of regret, from love to hate and then back again the next time you start drinking. This joke, while simple, is pretty darn accurate.
A Healthy Relationship
This text has made rounds online and for good reason. As a kid, a drunk parent is nothing short of terrifying or embarrassing. When you're an adult, however, it can make for some pretty funny situations. This is definitely one of those.
More Than Words Can Express
Looks like this fella was coaxed into a pretty compromising situation when drunk. Hey, we've all been there. Our drunk minds are pretty impressionable, and with a mischievous friend telling us what to do we can easily find ways to embarrass ourselves.
Spilled Secrets
Now that it is out in the open, what will happen to the semi truck? Will it have to go on the run? Will it fight Megatron? Seek out the Allspark? Or was this just kind of drunk? It's probably the last one.
No Context
There's almost no situation I can think of that makes this one anything but sort of horrible. Let's just hope that this drunken idiot maybe thought the cat was a toiler, and actually pissed safely into the bowel. What a twist that would be!
A Nerdy Kind of Drunk
This guy's drunk thoughts seem pretty complex. There are layers to unpack for the unsuspecting victim of this wall of text at 11:30pm but for what it's worth it sounds like he's having a decent night at the very least.
Messages To Mom
Looks like this drunkard forgot how to use their keyboard, although it is a little weird that they started putting in symbols and stuff, but whatever. More power to them. Although, it is pretty darn embarrassing to drunk text your parents.
To Be Fair...
Farmville hate is taken to a whole new level in this text, where this drunk guy was clearly inspired by his sheer hatred of the game to dig up a real world garden. The question of why his friend didn't stop him from destroying his mom's garden remains a mystery to this day.
Will You Mallard Me
From sexts, to barnyard animals this texting train of thought is all over the place. Seems like this person's fiance is bouncing from idea to idea faster than they can express in text message format. "Mallard me" is definitely a highlight!
Well, Is She?
Let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt! Maybe he wasn't that drunk. In fact, maybe he was completely sober and just so happened to come up with a new technique on how to break up with your significant other!
Meeting Your Heroes
Sounds like this story ended in a success for everyone involved--except for the smell of cigarette smoke. It is a pretty funny scenario to imagine playing out, especially this person being so excited about the prospect of chasing down a complete stranger.
Keep the Meter Running
Here, the best we can do is hope that they got home safely. Although, considering they already were home to begin with it is pretty hard to imagine that the taxi took them very far away, if it even had to drive at all!
Kiss From a Rose
The messages here are pretty sweet actually. A confession of love between two people who are in very different states of mind, since one of them is drunk and the other is sober. At least they mutually agree on their love.
The Lord Speaks
Who is to say if the final text here was sarcastic or not. It is very possible that this was an awesome to sight to experience, but it sounds pretty embarrassing to drop to your knees in a public place for such a questionable reason.


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