There are some things in life that you can't take back, like losing your flower, or accidentally seeing your dad naked. There are no easy take backs in the game of life. That's not true for items at Nordstroms though (for real. I hear their return policy is super relaxed). A tattoo is one of those things that you can't really take back. You could cover it up, or do an expensive procedure to get rid of it, but all of that sounds like a lot of work. You want to make sure that whatever you get inked is a solid idea, unlike these examples. These tattoos contain misspelled words, terrible pictures, and all around terrible tattoos that people will be stuck with for the rest of their lives. #47 is so bad it will make you fall to the floor!
1. It's Called a Trend for a Reason
Let's break down some basic tattoo ground rules. People say that you shouldn't even get a tattoo of your wife or husband because you never know if that love will fade. With a 50% divorce rate in the United States you have a pretty good, or bad choice, depending on whether you're a glass half-full or glass half-empty type of person. My point is, if you shouldn't even get the love of your life's name on you, then maybe an internet trend isn't the best thing either.
The Harlem Shake was fun while it lasted. We all had our fun and then it was over. These two people wanted to hang onto the moment a little too long while also being connected to each other forever. At least there's a dance called the Harlem Shake, but judging by their ankles I don't think these people know the Harlem shake dance.
2. He Stuck His Neck Out for This One
I really love the type of art that augments reality, like when an artist paints a mural that looks like real people standing in front of you, or how trippy MC Escher paintings can be. The thing is, that type of art doesn't belong on a body. It's too confusing, which in turn becomes very disturbing. That's what happened with this tattoo. It's a really great idea... just not for a tattoo.
This tattoo is way too in your face. It's like you can't look away, but all you want to do is look away. No one is going to take this guy seriously with his shirt off. Not that there are too many situations where you'd have to be taken seriously with your shirt off, but I can think of at least one very important activity.
3. The Golden Tattoo
There are tattoos that suffer from being horrible ideas in the first place, and there are tattoos that suffer from poor execution. This tattoo falls somewhere in the middle. It's 90% there. It's so close to being pretty accurate, but there's just something off in those eyes. Those dead, hollow eyes. Have we met the world's biggest Willy Wonka fan? It's one thing if you have a tattoo of your mother's face and it didn't come out 100% accurate. It's at least still sweet. What's the purpose of this tattoo?
Maybe he got it so he could always do the Wonka meme. If he ever wants to give a snarky remark he can just point to his tattoo and say it in Wonka voice. "OH YOU WANT TO MAKE FUN OF MY TATTOO? WHAT TRIBE IS YOUR TRIBAL TATTOO FROM?"
4. Goodbye Kitty
I'm not a super religious person or anything, but even I'm offended. Isn't this some type of blasphemy? Jesus is Jesus. Hello Kitty can't be Jesus. Maybe Batz Maru could be Jesus, but not Hello Kitty. That's a little bit of inside Hello Kitty humor for you. Here's some more. Isn't it a little weird that her name is Hello Kitty. Does that mean someone could be Goodbye Kitty? I have a lot of questions about this universe.
What I find so weird about this tattoo is that someone mixed their love for Hello Kitty with their love for blasphemy. If you love Hello Kitty that much just get a tattoo of normal hello Kitty. We don't need to deify a cute kitty character. It's very violent too. I already have issues with Jesus dying on the cross, and that was for our sins. I don't want to see a kitty do that
5. The Keyboard Cat Lives On Forever
In the year 1985 someone filmed their cat playing the piano. Over two decades later that video would be uploaded to the internet. Cut to years after that and Keyboard Cat is now considered part of the historical record, in my opinion. He's internet meme royalty. Not all internet memes could be given that classification. Most will just float away in the wind as #memories. Let's face it, we've all forgotten about Harambe by now.
That's why out of all possible memes, Keyboard Cat is the most suitable for a tattoo. It has some significance in history... but dear God. Look at that tattoo. It looks like a rejected Muppets character, not Keyboard Cat. I'm not saying a photo-realistic tattoo of a cat is easy, but tattoos aren't supposed to be easy. You want to put in the extra effort so it doesn't look like Keyboard Cat's dead, stuffed body.
6. We need a DISLIKE Button
Facebook has been taking some hits on its reputation lately. Zuckerberg recently had a congressional hearing for Facebook's data breach, which I was very upset about. If I wanted my personal data sold then I'd do it myself. I have my own guy for that. I can get a better deal. Now it kind of feels like the fall of an empire, but we all hope this isn't the case, we love Facebook. Can you imagine life without it?
Whatever happens with Facebook, this guy will have a constant reminder of it on his body. If Facebook turns into some evil Skynet style robot overlord, then he might as well join them as one of their human slaves. He's already got exactly what he can say to his new robot overlords as a sales pitch, "you don't have to like me."
7. It Doesn't Get Better
It's get better. That means "It is get better." My computer won't even let me type that sentence out. It gives me the red squiggly lines. Actually, I get a lot of those. I'm sure they meant "it gets better," but jee louise, who are they trying to convince, us or themselves?
The great thing about a travesty like this is that it takes two people for it to happen. Either the customer gave the tattoo artist this incorrect sentence and the tattoo artist just went with it, or the tattoo artist messed up and the customer just let themselves get the dumbest tattoo on Earth. It's also totally possible that they both didn't realize the mistake. The person could still be out there thinking the tattoo is right just because everyone is too polite to say anything.
8. Ballpoint Pen Tattoo
I think once you take away things like artistry and creativity, a tattoo artist's most important skill is a steady hand. You have to be able to draw straight lines.This tattoo looks like the tattoo artist drew it in ballpoint pen while coming down from heroine. That says nothing to the concept either which is an internet meme. We already established that the best cat internet meme to get tattooed is Keyboard Cat. Get out out of here with that trash post tattoo.
I'm getting a coloring book vibe from this tattoo. It could actually be a great parenting tool. Let's say you're at a nice restaurant with your kids but the restaurant doesn't have little coloring books to keep the kids busy. All you have to do is throw you leg up on the table and give your kid a stick of lipstick.
9. Eh, Sexy Lady
For a brief moment in history, Psy's 'Gangnam Style' was the biggest song in America or even possibly the world. Clubs all over were playing a Korean pop song to the excitement of everyone. What a wonderful world we live in. Of course now Psy has faded here in the states, he's still a huge star in Korea. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he has another hit in the United States, but I wouldn't bank on that so much that I'd get a tattoo.
This tattoo seems more like a drunk dare than an actual idea. Maybe after a night of drinking one of the friends had been doing the Gangnam Style dance all night, resulting in a dare to get this tattoo. If that's the case, it's not the worst drunk-dare tattoo. A Harvey Weinstein portrait might be a worse one
10. Sacred Vows
Oh, man. Someone should have told the pastor to give these two a paper copy of their vows so they could check for spelling. It's 'Til death do us part,' not 'due.' That's something you already say in your wedding vows anyway. You've already promised it. No reason to get it inked into your arm. That's the whole point of a vow.
What makes this even worse is that one of the tattoos is obviously written better than the other. It gives the effect that one of them is less crappy and the other one is way more crappy. Although with "I'll" blending into "I" and "love" it's not hard to tell that it's a bad tattoo. I hope this wasn't a situation where they wrote them for each other. "Honey, I don't think you're writing straight"- / "We're one day into this marriage and you're already being bossy."
11. Smartphone, Dumb Tattoo
My mom still swears by her old Blackberry. She recently got an iPhone 7 Plus and said, "the camera is better than my Samsung, but I still love my Blackberry camera the most." That was twelve years ago. There's no way that Blackberry camera was good. Still, she's not alone in her Blackberry love. There are many people who are still into these OG smartphones. I don't know how many of them love the Blackberry enough to sport a tattoo like this though.
If you think about it, this isn't much different from getting a horse-drawn carriage tattoo, or an old film camera. Those are old, cherished relics. If someone got a tattoo of either one of those, people would think it was cool. One day things like a Blackberry will be in museums has historical artifacts. The people of 3020 will be watching an Indiana Jones reboot where he hunts for ancient smartphones.
12. Free Concerts for Life
At a certain point its a safe bet to get a band tattoo. It all depends how long they've been around to some degree. Green Day is one of those bands that's been around and had enough social influence that a tattoo honoring them just makes sense. If a band just came out with their first single, however, you may want to wait on the tattoo. Even if the single is really good. That being said, I've heard of all kinds of band tattoos, but never a recreation of a ticket.
I assume this was the first time they ever saw Green Day live. If not then this seems like an even worse idea. Concert tickets aren't the most well designed pieces of graphic art. There's a lot of information that just has to be there for cataloguing purposes. Did they ever think they could just get 'Green Day' and the date next to it and that would work too? Just a thought.
13. The Biggest Smallest Music Fan
This tattoo is what I would like to call 'The Concert Paradox." Let me explain it to you. You would only tattoo the concerts you've been to on yourself if you really loved music, but if you really loved music, you should be going to too many concerts to tattoo them on yourself. Maybe it's that this person can't afford that many concert tickets, but they certainly can afford to get a tattoo after every single one of them. Just cut out the tattoos and you'd be able to go to twice as many concerts!
That's quite an eclectic mix of bands. What I'd like to know is what happened between 1994 and 2004. Did they have a bad breakup after that Green Day and couldn't bear to leave the house for ten years? Was it the power of Nickelback bring them out of hiding?
14. I'd like My Nickelback
Speaking of Nickelback. Nickelback is the band everyone loves to hate, yet they are still hugely popular. That means that either the haters are louder than the fans, or everyone is a liar and we all secretly love Nickelback. I'll admit that I have no problem with Nickelback, but boy is it easy to make jokes about them. That's why I would never get a tattoo of theirs even if I was a huge fan. You have to realize how it looks to have a tattoo of the world's most made fun of band on your arm.
Still, this superfan went through with it. I wonder if he turns down the lights at night, lights a few candles, gazes at his tattoo and sings, "this is how you remind me, of what I really am."
15. Marilyn Mon-NO!
People say that Marilyn Monroe is the most beautiful woman to ever walk the Earth. I disagree. I think the most beautiful woman to ever walk the Earth is my mother. Then again, I have issues. I can see where people are coming from. Her confidence alone makes her extremely sexy (my mother has the same confidence!). How is it then, that this tattoo makes her look like Helena Bonham Carter's character in Harry Potter? It's legitimately creepy, and that's before you realize that it's her head coming out of a rose bush for no apparent reason.
That tattoo is sort of OK as long as you don't show it right next to the real photo. That's never a good idea unless you're very confident that they look the same. As is very clear here, that is not the case.
16. Just Winging It
There are some tattoos that you see everywhere. It's like people have no originality when it comes to putting things permanently on their body. I guess that's not so surprising considering tattoo shops have binders full of ideas. People are bound to pick the same tattoo. Angel wings are a pretty typical tattoo for women. It's like tribal tattoos for guys. Once you see someone with that tattoo, you know that they're basic. It's like, we get it. You think you're an angel. You're adorable.
This girl took the angel wing idea to a whole new level by getting chicken wings. I appreciate the creativity. She's definitely not basic, but that doesn't mean this was a good idea. I wouldn't be able to do certain things with her without getting hungry. Somebody pass the blue cheese.
17. The Jugular Brothers
We were talking about what makes for a safe bet for a band tattoo. One of the most important factors is staying power. The band has to have had an impact of some kind, whether that be time together or social impact. If you think about it, Nirvana wasn't around that long, but a Nirvana tattoo feels perfectly acceptable. As for a Jonas Brothers Tattoo, that's a little questionable. Maybe it's that I wasn't their demographic, but at this point Joe Jonas is the only one who I ever hear from. A Joe Jonas tattoo makes sense to me.
Whether you believe The Jonas Brothers are deserving of skin real estate or not, everyone can agree that the neck is an intense place to get a tattoo. Other than turtlenecks and scarves, there aren't many ways to cover that up.
18. Bad Tattoos, Bargain Prices
There's something about representing companies on your clothing or body that really weirds me out. I'm talking about when people buy shirts that say Coca-Cola on them. Doesn't it make more sense that Coca-Cola pays YOU to wear that shirt? You're basically paying them to advertise for them. Sometimes that makes sense when it's a smaller brand, or a lifestyle brand like Nike. Where it doesn't make sense: Walmart. America's biggest and most evil corporation.
The irony is that this tattoo probably cost more than any item at Walmart. We know for a fact that they didn't get this tattoo drawn at Walmart though, because it would have looked much worse. I don't know if Walmart even does tattoos, but I could totally see one in Nebraska doing it. Free tattoo when you refill your prescription at Walmart.
19. Seeing is Believing
I hope this guy never needs to wear real glasses. He'll be forced to get the same kind of frames as the ones printed on his face or else it'll just look weird. I say that as if it doesn't look weird already. This guy can't walk into a room without people staring at him trying to make sense of his face. What does he do when he wants to change frames? Sure, thick black frames have always been in fashion, but what if he watches 'The Matrix' and gets inspired to want Morpheus-style frameless glasses? He's stuck with these forever.
Not to mention that this must be one of the more painful tattoos to get. You're getting that needle right on the temples and the bridge of the nose. I have a feeling that someone didn't get hugged enough as a child.
20. Tattoo Tattoo
Sometimes the simplest idea is the best idea. If you're hungry, eat food. If you're thirsty, drink water. If you want a tattoo, get "tattoo." It all makes sense! This tattoo is hilarious. It's exactly my style of humor, which isn't exactly a compliment. "Want to see my tattoo?" / "Sure. What?" / "Tattoo." You can go in circles and circles with people. Your life will always be like a Monty Python sketch. Then one day you come home and your wife's stuff is gone... that's when the laughter stops.
I like to think that there's a specific story to this tattoo. A young man wanted a tattoo, so he asked his father. The father said he could get a tattoo, but only if it said tattoo. The kid took it as a challenge and now we have this glorious tattoo.
21. Not Everybody Loves Raymond
You're in for a treat because I've actually heard some of the story behind this tattoo. Legend has it that this girl came to a tattoo shop drunk one night and requested a tattoo that said, "I'm Gonna Kill You, Ray Romano," as in the famous actor/comedian, Ray Romano. The tattoo artist declined since she was clearly so drunk (you'd have to be drunk to want that tattoo), but told her that if she came back sober the next day, he would do it for free. As you can clearly see she came back the next day. That's HOW this tattoo came to be. As for WHY, I am uncertain.
I'm not sure what vendetta she has against Ray Romano, especially since I thought Everybody Loves Raymond. WHat happened to the good old days when you'd just send a death threat via the post?
22. Mmm. Dessert.
I'd like to see how this all went down. A guy comes into the tattoo shop and says "I want a tattoo." The tattoo artist asks, "what do you want?" The guy says, "a cupcake taking a shit, but not in a gross way. Make it cute." Or did the guy just flip through the book of ideas and land on this one? Who knows. Either way, now he's stuck with this monstrosity on his leg forever. It's not appropriate for adults or children. It's just plain inappropriate.
Let's talk about cupcake biology for a second. Is the outer wrapping of a cupcake technically its pants? Does it have to peel the wrapping off to take a dookie? It seems like it would be painful. In this artist's depiction, the cupcake seems to have legs and trousers. I don't know if that's my favorite depiction of an anthropomorphic cupcake. I prefer mine legless. I've put a lot of thought into it.
23. If You Were a Hot Dog, Would You Eat Yourself?
This is quite a beautifully designed tattoo for something so stupid. It's framed like it should be a tattoo of Jesus or someone else important, but instead it's a hot dog man. There might be some secular version of Christianity that sees Jesus as a hot dog, but let me warn you now. That's not a church you want to have anything to do with. Other than having an extra tasty communion, it seems like it might be a little weird.
I'm a fan of the expression here. Guilty of being delicious. Isn't that we all strive for? I like the confidence of it all. It's like Will Ferrell's imitation of Harry Caray on Saturday Night Live, "If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?" Yes. The answer should always be yes. Love yourself.
24. I am Jelly
Don't worry if you're having trouble staring at this one for too long. I think it'll have that effect on most people.I think we should all start a GoFundMe page for a pedicure for this guy. I'm not saying everybody has to have feet fit for Quentin Tarantino, but if you're going to take a picture of your FOOT tattoo, your foot better be in photo condition. Now that that's out of the way we can get to the actual content of this tattoo.
Forever Alone comics are high up there when it comes to internet royalty. You could spend hours going through the insane humor that is Forever Alone. They've been around longer than Justin Bieber. They may even be older than Justin Bieber. I'm not sure why I'm using him as a time reference, but something about it feels right. U mad bro?
25. That's a Sweet Tattoo
I never thought I'd type this sentence, but... there are many characters to choose from in the M&Ms universe. Isn't that kind of insane? There are almost as many characters in the M&M universe as there are in the Marvel Universe. You could go with the classic yellow or red M&M, or maybe even the sassy green. The sassy green M&M was always my favorite. If we're being honest, I had a crush on her (don't tell my wife). Any of those choices would make for a weird tattoo, despite their decades long history. This person went with an Aretha Franklin M&M?
Honestly, it's actually pretty beautiful. It's not a bad tattoo at all. It's just baffling. I don't know if this person loves chocolate or motown. Maybe they love both.
26. Are Those What I Think They Are?
We're looking at bold choices all around with this tattoo. Firstly, it's a full head tattoo on a woman. That means she's going to have to always rock the bald hairstyle if she wants to show this off. Secondly, those are penises all over it. It's weird because they are just hidden well enough from that you wonder if the woman even knows they are there. This could be the world's best secret joke. She asked for a beautiful, flowery head tattoo and the artist snuck in dicks.
That's as cruel as it is funny, but ultimately that's the risk you run when getting a tattoo. You may have a tattoo artist with a cruel sense for practical jokes. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but isn't that more reasonable than this woman actually requesting the dicks?
There's one thing for sure about this woman. If she's not wearing a hoodie, then she's freaking everyone behind her out. All you want to do is pay for your groceries but you can't help but make eye contact with this lady's back. There's something disturbing about photo realistic eyes staring at you like that. Sure, that's a great job from the tattoo artist, but it looks like a demon is stuck in this woman's back.
This is an awkward tattoo for sure. Not to mention the source material. This is a grown woman with a Twilight tattoo. Isn't Twilight for teen girls? Then again I hear the later books have some weird vampire pregnancy scenes, so maybe I'm wrong about the age. Twilight isn't just for lonely teenage girls. It's for lonely adult women too!
28. Tattoo Wars: The Return of the Gangnam
We talked about how big 'Gangnam Style' is and was, but I didn't know it was "two tattoos in the same list" big. This is just one song we're talking about, people. It's not like getting a Nirvana tattoo where you're honoring an entire catalogue of music. This is just one three minute blip.
Gangnam style does refer to something other than the song, so I guess this person could also be a fan of living the lavish Gangnam lifestyle. The only thing is that I don't see anyone who really lives the Gangnam life having a tattoo that says it on their arm. Although the craftsmanship is at least very good. This one looks pretty professional. There's only one way to tell though. We need to see that arm whipping in the Gangnam style dance.
29. Google "bad idea."
Google is such a powerhouse in the world right now that I wouldn't be surprised if one day we all have to get mandatory Google tattoos. It'll be the only way we can pay for food or get into bars. Our very own barcode tattoos. Those, although terrifying, would actually serve a purpose. They'd be like our social security cards on our skin (that'd be great because I think I lost mine in 2005). This tattoo serves no purpose other than to inspire regret.
I mean, sure, we all love Google. We all use it every day. I'm not about to get a tattoo for it though. If he's powered by Google doesn't he know he could use it to find out there are lists like this out there? He's just waiting to be Googled for the search term, "bad tattoo."
30. I'm Not Loving It
The great thing about this tattoo is that you can really tell this person love McDonalds. Not because of the McDonalds logo, but because of the spot the tattoos is on. That back leaves no question that this person loves McDonalds. I don't mean to fat shame anyone, but if you're a little heavier you shouldn't get a McDonalds tattoo. You are probably a little heavier because your love for McDonalds is such that you got a tattoo of their logo. You just don't want to get a tattoo that reminds people of your faults.
It's like an anorexic person getting a tattoo of a twig. You're giving people a way to make fun of you. Think about if I got a tattoo of a creepy mustache on my chest. People would see that and say, "wow. That reminds us that you have that creepy mustache on your face too."
31. Boys Will Be Boys
I hope "Iwantyourlegsbehindyourhead" is this guys favorite dish to order at a Chinese restaurant. If not (which it isn't) then this is just horrible. I have a hard time going up to women and saying hello. Especially in Germany since I don't know how to say hello in German. Then you have guys like this that are down to tell you their dirtiest thoughts right there on their chest.
I have a question. Does he always want that? I get that people like what they like, but you can't always be doing the "legs behind the head" thing, you know what I mean? You have to mix it up. What if he finds the love of his life and she can't bend her legs behind her head. Or even worse, what if she has no legs? This guy needs to rethink his strategy.
32. Branding is Everything
The reason why people buy expensive, luxury brands is for two reasons. Because of the quality and because it makes a statement. When I put on my Gucci headband and walk out the door, I know I'm wearing it because I want people to see that I can afford Gucci (they don't need to know that I'm in tremendous credit card debt). Why do I do that? The answer is low self esteem, but the reason I want to focus on is that when I see other people wearing expensive brands, I know they have money.
That's why this tattoo is so stupid. Louis Vuitton is no doubt a luxury brand, but the name doesn't mean anything without the clothes. The same way you can't throw a Louis Vuitton logo on a Walmart shirt is the same way you can't just put Louis Vuitton on your skin. I bet this tattoo was cheaper than an actual long sleeve shirt at Louis Vuitton.
33. Grammar Isn't That Important
It's nice when someone can see the error of their ways and make a correction. Many people can't even get to the first step of that let alone the second step. The person who got this tattoo definitely owned up to their mistake. They got a tattoo that wasn't grammatically correct and they noticed it. Although I applaud their attempt at fixing it, I think they should have just left this one alone.
If I was reading this tattoo and noticed the missing 'N' I'd just let it go. The tattoo is about God, after all. Judge not lest ye be judged, right? There's got to be some grammatical God-rule where you don't have to say "an" before talking about him. That's not how this woman felt since she decided to pop the N in there for perfect grammar, bad tattoo.
34. You Are What You Eat
It's important to love your body. You're never going to get a new one (unless you're a Kardashian). You have to either live with it or change it. If you're a little heavier and you don't want to lose weight, I think that's perfectly fine. If you're a little heavier and you are proud of it, I think that's even cooler. That's the angle this guy is coming from with his "Well fed" tattoo. Sure, you don't really need a tattoo to see that, but I'm always one for comedic irony.
He's going to have an interesting mark leftover if he ever does decide to get gastric bypass or hit the treadmill. If he loses enough weight he could just cut out that portion of skin. I'd say that's a pretty good plan, but it'll require people to stop putting food in him.
35. I am Puzzled
Oh, man. This tattoo is so obnoxious. Are you really going to stand there while people work on the stupid puzzle on your side? And for what? It would be really interesting if the secret message had some significance to puzzles or to words, but it doesn't. It's just a stupid quote about being a dad. Is your child supposed to do this activity? Have you ever done a word search with a kid? It's infuriating. They can't get anything. They definitely won't get the nuances of your little puzzle.
I can just imagine what this guy does during game night. Everyone asks, "what game should we play next?" That's when he lifts his shirt and says, "this one!" Then everyone looks sad for him. "Steve, this is couple's game night. Your wife left you four years ago. Please leave."
36. Neverland Ranch. Emphasis on NEVER.
This tattoo is trying to honor the memory of Michael Jackson but I fear it only destroys it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it's a joke or not. As for the depiction of Michael, I'm actually not that upset with it. Unless you're going with black Michael Jackson, then the best route to go is cartoonish. I don't even think the biggest of Michael fans would love to see a photo-realistic tattoo of him in his later years, so I think the cartoony image was a good choice.
The quote "he touched so many" is a little disturbing though given Michael Jackson's history of child molestation charges. For the record, I don't believe any of them were true. I think Michael is innocent, but for those who don't think he's innocent would all agree that "he touched so many."
37. Your Dumber than you Think
We've been learning that bad grammar is the worst enemy of the tattoo artist. You'd think that because they have to write so slow that they'd catch their mistakes, but that doesn't seem to be the case. This is an especially infuriating case of bad grammar because they somehow used the same word incorrectly twice but in two different ways. The first "your" should be "you're," short for "you are." The second "your" should just be "you." It's like this tattoo artist was going for a world record.
A lot of people mess up their "yours." It's as common as screwing up "there, their, and they're." Not many people, however, screw up "you." That one is usually pretty easy. This is why 18 is too young to be able to get a tattoo without an English teacher's written consent.
38. This Dinosaur Needs to be Extinct
I remember drawing so many stoned doodles in high school. My notebook was filled with all these dumb little drawings of weird cartoon characters, weapons, and dinosaurs. A lot of it was stuff like this T-rex tattoo. People would even say they liked my drawings and ask me to draw things for them. I was always very flattered. That being said, if one of those people asked if they could use one of my drawings as a tattoo, I'd say hell no. That garbage art doesn't belong on the body.
That's my own stuff I'm talking about too. Think about how I feel about other people's dumb drawings. This king T-rex is cool and all, but it would look a lot cooler on a piece of white paper where it could be erased or crumpled up and thrown into the trash like a three-pointer.
39. It's Better to Be Good at Spelling
What this tattoo means to say is, "it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than to be absolutely boring." There's nothing boring about this tattoo anymore. That's for sure. It's going to be a conversation starter for the rest of her life. Unfortunately that conversation is always going to start with, "you know you spelled ridiculous wrong, right?" And this girl has to respond with, "Yes, I am aware that I spelled ridiculous incorrectly on my body which is now there forever [screams internally]."
If this person is going to live by their own tattoos intended advice, this shouldn't bother them. Now they truly are a ridiculous person. There's no denying that. A boring person would get a tattoo of a Marilyn Monroe quote that was spelled perfectly. Sorry to come for you Marilyn-Monroe-quote-tattoo-having people, but you know me. Eventually I come for everyone.
40. The Children are Not Okay
I've got a bone to pick with this tattoo artist (and my chiropractor. AYO!) Did you have to embellish every single bump in the baby's head? Her forehead looks like the rolling hills of Ireland. The baby is going to see this and get body dysmorphia. She's going to grow up wanting to put her head in a vice. And for the parents, maybe wait a couple more months before taking a tattoo photo. That baby is so young it's going to look different ten minutes from when that photo was taken.
Out of the two pictures shown the parents chose the wrong one too. The top picture looks like a normal, cute baby. The bottom picture looks like... well, I don't like to make fun of children, so maybe I should just stop there.
41. Nice Little Richard Tattoo
The only story that explains this tattoo is this: one day someone wanted to get a tattoo of Little Richard, but when he got to the tattoo shop he found out that the tattoo artist couldn't draw Little Richard's body. "Whose body can you draw?" he asked. "Marilyn Monroe," replied the tattoo artist, and then history was made. Seriously, it's so bad that it doesn't even look like a bad drawing of Marilyn Monroe's face. It intentionally looks like someone else. I don't want to be the first person to say it, but... that's Black Jesus.
The thing is that the body isn't horrible, so I think my story might be true. This tattoo artist has some kind of skill, unfortunately tattoos don't give partial credit. No one cares that the shading is great if it doesn't even look like the person to begin with.
42. The Haunted Baby
One of the sweetest things you can do is get a tattoo of your child. It's the ultimate sign of devotion. Other than, you know, the fact that you actually had the kid in the first place. I just never understood it. I can understand getting your kid's name tattooed on you. That's not changing. Getting your kid's image tattooed on you seems weird because they're going to look different at different points in their lives. What if you like the way they look as a teenager much better. I guess you could always get another tattoo, but that seems like overkill.
That's not the problem here though. The problem here is that this looks like a demon baby. This tattoo artist went a little too intense with the shading, but that's just the start of the problems. Check out those teeth. I've never been more afraid of teething.
43. Eight Reasons Why This Sucks
One thing you notice as you get older is that it becomes harder and harder to make friends. I can't imagine that gets any easier when you have a giant spider tattooed on your face. Face tattoos are worrisome to begin with. Gang members have face tattoos. Gang members and trap rappers. When you put arachnids on your face, it's even worse. Very few people like spiders. Even fewer people like spiders on faces.
What kind of facial expression works with a tattoo like that? If you put on a serious face you look creepy. If you smile you look even creepier. No one likes going to the DMV anyway, so imagine you have to go there to retake your picture after you got a spider tattoo.That's a bad reason to have to go into the DMV.
44. She Deserves to Win
Nickelback has affected a lot of people's lives. With their music, sure, but more so with bad tattoos. What's interesting about this one is that this person is clearly aware of their regret. We get a little text blurb from the victim herself. I guess her tattoo is sort of clever, but also not really. It's clever for a dad joke, but a dad would just put a real quarter on his back and say, "hey, look! It's Nickel BACK!" No tattoo required.
Not everyone would be keen enough to see that this was a horrible idea. This poor woman tried to make up for her mistake by posting on a free tattoo removal page. I really hope she won too. If not then she can always tell her daughter that she just really loves money. That's believable. Who doesn't love money?
Remember that Facebook tattoo we saw earlier? At the time maybe you were thinking "Facebook is never going anywhere." Did you know that we once thought the same thing about Myspace? We didn't think it was going anywhere. It was OUR space. It was the place where friendships were made or broken over who was in your top 8. Then one day Facebook appeared. Just like that, Myspace was gone. OK, so it's still a music website but when's the last time you even visited?
This guy was just like us. He thought Myspace would be around forever. You'd think this tattoo at least honors a good memory, but no. Now we all kind of remember Myspace as a trashy place full of petty arguments and people being creeps (sound familiar, anyone?), so this tattoo seems especially lame.
46. Let's Talk About the Elephant in the Room
Here's a tattoo very similar in style to the weird alien-body neck tattoo from number two on this list, except that this one is much less intense. The general rule with bad tattoos is the smaller the better. Neck: hard to hide. Hand: much easier. You could always hide a tattoo like this with gloves.
This tattoo gives a fun, visual effect that could have been accomplished with a ballpoint pen for much less money and then eventually washed off. How many times does this person show their friends before they get sick of it? "WE GET IT, CHUCK! YOUR HAND LOOKS LIKE AN ELEPHANT! NOW GO DEVELOP A PERSONALITY INSTEAD OF GETTING INKED!" The bad thing with this tat is that when you're hand isn't in elephant pose it just looks dirty and gross.
47. Double Negatives
"Never don't give up" sounds like it should be the name of a parody action movie, not a slogan on your arm. I like to have a little faith in humanity where I imagine that this guy is very funny and got an ironic tattoo. Maybe "never don't give up" is something one of their friends said and has since become an inside joke. Truth is, that's probably not the case. This is most likely the work of a fool who thought he was telling people not to give up, when in actuality he was telling them the exact opposite.
Due to the double negatives of 'never' and 'don't,' we have a statement that says you should always give up. Not just sometimes, but always. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound like too bad of a life.
48. I Don't Know When that Hotline Bling
I'm not one to make fun of people for no reason. That's just my code of conduct. I'm not saying I'm a saint. I'm obviously not above making fun of people in general - that's what this whole article has been about - but that's me making fun of them for their choices, not for who they are. That's what makes this one so difficult. There's just too much to roast here. It's like a recently-hunted boar. I just want to roast it all.
But let's get past all of that and just talk about this tattoo. Face tattoos are always bad. Especially when you don't want to necessarily draw attention to your face. Most people would opt for concealer or a mask. This person went for a Drake tattoo. I don't think they can expect any hotline bling any time soon, but that's just a hunch.
49. I Don't Think He Is
When you use the term "saviour," you really can't use it lightly. It's bigger than hero. You wouldn't call Captain America a saviour, but there is one man who always comes gets referred to as one. I'm talking about Jesus. Jesus is a saviour, no doubt. He saved us from our sins. Whether you are a devout christian or not, you can understand the weight of that action. That's a huge weight to put on one man's shoulder. That's why if he was really your saviour he would have made sure you spelled your tattoo correctly.
Maybe the reason why he didn't have your back in this instance is because you invoked his name on your ta-tas. It's more than OK to love Jesus, but maybe the best way to love him isn't on your body parts. Especially those body parts.
50. It Takes Two
I will give credit to the concept of this tattoo. This is a beautiful idea that's very symbolic of two people needing each other to complete the puzzle that is love, but I'm pretty sure it just looks awful when they aren't holding each other like that. I wonder if they had to lay on the table when they got it done. By the looks of the lines it seems as though the artist might have just winged it, but if homeboy ever decides to get swole then it's going to be a little off anyway.
The thing that's weird about this tattoo is that if they want to show it off they need to disrobe and hold each other. If they showed me their tattoo I'd assume they were trying to do a three way with me.
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