If you have ever broken-up before, you probably know how easy it was to do a postmortem on the relationship. In hindsight, the path to a break-up was surprisingly clear - all of those late night fights, lack of intimacy, the dishonesty, and even the red flags behind a possible cheating. Sadly, when you are in the middle of a relationship, and some things are still going well, it is much more difficult whether your relationship is in a rough spot or not.
You Fight a Lot
One of the most surefire ways of knowing whether your relationship is on a downhill path is if you fight with your partner too often. Fighting means any kind of conflict or argument between the two of you. The more often you argue, the worse your relationship is.
You Are Defensive About Your Actions
You will know if you are a bad partner to your loved one if you are too keen to criticize them, but at the same time, you do not take any kind of criticism or feedback. Being defensive about your behavior and actions is a red flag in any relationship.
You Are Contempt towards Your Partner
Another sign that your relationship is slowly dying, is if you feel contempt towards your partner. According to marriage therapist John Gottman, contempt is the "kiss of death" in any relationship, and once you feel your partner is inferior to you, there is almost no turning back.
You Stonewall Difficult Conversations
Another hallmark of a bad or dying relationship is if you try to "stonewall" the more emotional discussions with your partner. Just because you evade or walk off on difficult conversations, that doesn't mean that the problem doesn't exist.
You Display Controlling Behavior
Another way to know if you are hurting and suffocating your partner is if you display controlling heavier towards your him or her. Controlling behavior can be anything from checking your partner's phone to asking his friends what they are doing in their free time.
You Try To Make Them Feel Guilty
Another way to destroy your partner's love is to try to make them feel guilty in arguments. The worst way to make someone feel guilty, or to win an argument, is to bring up the past and make them be the bad girl or girl in the story.
Not Trusting Your Partner
For a relationship to thrive and grow, trust and honesty are of great importance. You can't be with someone if you don't trust them, which is why you must work to overcome this problem. Being with someone you trust is one of the best feelings in life.
You Are Not Sure Whether the Relationship Is Right For You
Another way to know that something bad may be going on behind the scenes of your relationship is to know what your gut feeling is telling you. If you find yourself often thinking whether the relationship is right for you, then perhaps it isn't.
Your Partner's Quirks and Habits Annoy You
Everyone has their own quirks and habits. If you are in a dying relationship, the quirks and habits that your partner has are going to start to annoy you. Even the sounds they make during dinner may start to cause you to feel anger.
You Choose to Spend More Time with Your Netflix Account than With Your Partner
You will know that something bad is going on with your relationship, if you start to spend more time at work, with your friends, or even your Netflix account than with your partner. You could try to fix this problem by taking some time away from your partner.
Things Aren't Moving Forward
Every relationship has to have a path forward - it has to lead to somewhere. Normally, this path is not linear, and not every year is going to go as planned, but if you spend a lot of years together and hardly anything has changed, that could mean bad things
You've Broken Up and Gotten Back Together More Than Once
If you have ever broken up with your partner, and then went back together, that's a bad sign, as people that love each should never have to break-up or otherwise spend time away from the relationship. This is a major red flag if it has happened multiple times.
There Is No Intimacy in Your Relationship
While sex doesn't have to be the main part of your relationship, it still should be present on some semi-regular basis. You and your partner can decide on this "quota," but try to keep at least once a week or so - unless the girl is on her period.
Sex Is the Only Thing Going On Between You Two
This one is similar to the previous paragraph - if sex is the only thing that keeps the two of you together and away from fighting, then that means that your relationship is based on lust, rather than love. Lustful relationships don't usually last for a long time.
You Spend Time Thinking About Other People
If you frequently catch yourself thinking about other people, and what is out there, that could be a sign that the relationship is not mentally and emotionally satisfying to you. In this case, you should either discuss this with your partner or move on.
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